


Flashslip's Dreams

by garyc0re



Series: Warrior Cat OC Novellas & Misc. [1]
Category: Original Work, Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: 16+, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Awkward Crush, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Break Up, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Confessions, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Depression, Destiny, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Fever Dreams, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Heaven & Hell, Hide and Seek, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Infection, LGBT Cats (Warriors), Love Confessions, Manipulation, Near Death Experiences, Novella, Original Character(s), POV Bisexual Character, Physical Abuse, Post-Break Up, Post-Divorce, Promises, Psychological Trauma, Rated M for Heavy Themes, Recovery, References to Depression, RiverClan POV, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Sibling Rivalry, Step-parents, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenage Drama, Trauma, Verbal Abuse, flashpaw gets fucked up in chapter 8, its warriors there's always lots of characters LOL, lots of characters but not all of them are important, there's not rly a tag for 16 plus but yea, will add tags as i write lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2020-05-07 13:53:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19210774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garyc0re/pseuds/garyc0re
Summary: Flashpaw is a young apprentice living in a dysfunctional family. Excited to train as a warrior apprentice with her best friend, Mallowpaw, she is disappointed when Mallowpaw decides that her paws lie on a different path.Feeling lost and lonely, Flashpaw begins to have vivid dreams about a warrior named Cloudstorm. He offers her love and support where Flashpaw feels she has none, and leaves her craving his presence as she lays down to rest at night.The question is: how will this all play out for her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> before you begin this fic, please know that it is going to deal with some heavy themes, including a dysfunctional family and partner abuse, as well as implied anxiety / depression with suicidal thoughts later on.  
>   
> if any of these topics make you uncomfortable, **click off of this fic right now.**  
>   
>  if these topics do not make you uncomfortable, feel free to continue reading.

 "Catch the moss ball, Flashkit!"

 

Flashkit whipped around at her friend's voice and let out a small ' _oof_ ' noise when the ball of moss hit her over the head and broke apart, scattering the dark green plant all over her pelt. The slightly-damp moss made her fur feel grossly irritated, and Flashkit shook her pelt out to get rid of the slimy crawling feeling. Mallowkit bounded over to her and let out soft ' _mrrows_ ' of laughter, finding the whole debacle rather amusing.

 "No fair! I wasn't looking!" Flashkit swiped one nursery-soft paw at her friend, catching her around the ear. Mallowkit squealed and retaliated by leaping on top of Flashkit, battering Flashkit's belly with her feather-light hind paws. Flashkit struggled beneath Mallowkit as the two broke out in vicious kit-like play-fighting, their blows as lethal as cotton.

 

The two began to roll across the clearing, limbs flailing and dirt flying up as they wrestled. Tiny tails and small claws waved around - a tripping hazard for older cats - as they went, and they nearly collided into multiple warriors who were trying to perform their duties around camp. They could have been mistaken for an unstoppable force until they rolled into a brown-and black tabby eating a pigeon by the fresh-kill pile.

 Flashkit hit the cat going full speed, and the breath was suddenly knocked out of her for a second as she fell to the ground, dazed.  The cat she had rolled into leapt to its paws and hissed in defiance, looking furious as it glared down at her and Mallowkit.

 

"Don't you two see that I'm trying to eat?" The tabby cat they had barreled into snarled. His voice was thick with rage, and irritation gleamed in his amber eyes. "Don't she-cats teach their kits manners nowadays? You two are three moons old! That's halfway to becoming apprentices, you should know better!"

 

Flashkit was quick to scramble to her paws and sit neatly with them under her chest as she began to groom her now ruffled fur, embarrassment making her pelt prickle hotly. She twitched her ear as she heard Mallowkit moving beside her. Guilt and anxiety sparked in her chest, and she felt a deep need to apologize. "We're sorry, Stonetooth. We were playing moss ball, but _Mallowkit_ ," Flashkit turned to shoot her sibling-like friend a playfully harmless glare, "tossed it onto me, so I _had_ to fight her."

 

"Hey, I leapt on you first," Mallowkit squeaked in protest, but was silenced by a stony glare from Stonetooth, who loomed above both of them. _Stonetooth's pretty scary_ , Flashkit thought uneasily. _I hope he doesn't tell Greeneyes we crashed into him._ For a second Flashkit was anxious that he was going to get them in trouble, but then he simply sighed and sat down, looking suddenly weary.

 

"Honestly, you two are so much of a handful. How do Greeneyes and Lightfeather deal with you?" Stonetooth shook his head and let out a soft grunt.

 

As a senior warrior, Stonetooth was very close to becoming an elder, and he had recently begun feeling the effects of his age. He was often seen going into and out of the medicine cat's den, where Nightshade had her supplies. It was well-known within the Clan that Stonetooth was going to retire soon; however, he refused to do so until he trained his apprentice, Snowpaw, to her full potential.

 

Mallowkit's voice interrupted Flashkit's inner monologue, forcing her to concentrate. "-a silly old cat like you would never be able to keep up with such a daring Riverclan warrior," Mallowkit was saying. She had leapt to her paws and circled around him while Flashkit had been lost in thought. Flashkit, still anxious about getting in trouble, hung back to watch Mallowkit as the sand-coloured cat focused on Stonetooth's tail.

 

When Mallowkit was less than a moon old, her father had been murdered while patrolling the Thunderclan border. It had been another one of those intermittent Clan skirmishes over food - but this one had cost a cat his life. Sick with grief, Lightfeather had turned to her friend in the nursery to help her care for her kits. With an abnormally small litter of only one kit, Greeneyes - Flashkit's mother - didn't mind pitching in to help raise Mallowkit - especially since Flashkit's father, Heavyclaw, never seemed to come around much after Flashkit's birth.

 

Since Greeneyes had to help Lightfeather with Mallowkit, Flashkit had been raised to treat and view her as a sibling. As only children to both of their parents, they were heavily spoiled and were never lonely due to the fact that they had each other. Flashkit was sure that they got along so well because they had a lot of things in common - the only thing that was very different about them was that Mallowkit was a lot braver than Flashkit, but Greeneyes always told Flashkit that that could be fixed with time.

 Zoning back into the present, Flashkit watched as Stonetooth let out a rusty purr and flicked his tail for Mallowkit, who leapt on it with her claws outstretched. "Kits! They never show any respect!" He complained in a gruff voice, though Flashkit's anxiety about getting in trouble finally faded when she saw the amused glimmer that was sparkling in the older tom's eye.

 

"Mallowkit!" A voice from behind startled Flashkit and made her turn around, her ears perking up. A small, light-brown tabby was bounding gracefully towards them. She stopped in front of Stonetooth and the kits, and leaned down to begin roughly licking Mallowkit's fur with strong rasps of her light pink tongue. Between licks, she began to scold the two of them. "Are you bothering Stonetooth? You should let him eat. He's been very busy catching prey for us this new-leaf, you know!"

 "Mom," Mallowkit protested and swiped at her mother's nose gently with a paw, making sure to keep her claws sheathed. "I can look after myself." She looked around Lightfeather to give Flashkit a look of complete exasperation, and Flashkit had to fight to keep down a soft ' _mrrow_ ' of amusement in response.

 "Of course you can't take care of yourself," Lightfeather huffed, "you're only a kit!" She twitched an ear, giving Mallowkit an incredulous look. She turned to face Stonetooth, dipping her head to him apologetically. "I'm so sorry if they were bothering you, Stonetooth. They've been pretty excited to get out of the nursery lately after the cold weather. Leaf-bare had them antsy."

 

"It's fine, Lightfeather, they aren't bothering me any." Stonetooth nodded politely to her and Lightfeather turned her attention to Flashkit as she wrapped her tail protectively around Mallowkit.

 "I need to talk to Mallowkit, Flashkit, so why don't you go and see if your mother needs anything? I left her to clear out some old bedding in the nursery. She might need some help."

 

Flashkit turned to Mallowkit. For a second, the urge to defy Lightfeather's wishes just so she could play with her sibling-like friend was quite tempting. _We could play another round of moss ball..._ But then Flashkit stood and shook out her pelt, knowing that it was never worth it to argue with Lightfeather, especially after she had put so much into raising Flashkit as her own. "Okay," She gave Lightfeather a simple nod before turning around and bounding across the clearing towards the medicine cat's den, where she could get some moss for fresh bedding.

 

Flashkit pushed her head into the medicine cat's den, her whiskers quivering as they brushed against the entrance. "Nightshade?" She called out, stepping in and walking across the clearing towards the back of the den. Poking her head in, she scanned the various piles of herbs in the dark cavern to find that no Nightshade was there. Flashkit pulled out her head and opened her jaws to take in a breath. _Great Starclan, that's a lot of herby scents!_ Flashkit thought.

 

Disappointment made the kit's tail momentarily drop as she realized that Nightshade's scent was stale - the medicine cat must be out. Deciding that her mother might not even need the moss, Flashkit pushed out of the strong-smelling den and back into the clearing. She let her eyes adjust back to the brightness of the sun before she started towards the nursery.

 Flashkit's paws skidded across the reed-covered ground as she crashed into the nursery through the entrance. She sat up and scanned her surroundings, but hesitated when she saw that her father, Heavyclaw, was in the back of the tiny room with her mother. They seemed too engrossed in their argument to notice her, so Flashkit took a few steps back towards the den's entrance, letting the shadows cover her as she began to eavesdrop on their conversation.

 

The first sound that reached Flashkit's tiny eardrums was her mother's voice. It sounded layered with an untouchable fury unlike any she had ever heard before. It struck Flashkit to her core, and it would haunt her for moons upon moons, forgotten about until something reminded her of it again, an endless cycle never to be broken. With her hackles raised, and her ears pressed flat against her head, Flashkit took in the appearance of her mother, which reminded her dimly of the stories the elders used to tell of the fearsome badgers who could take off a kit's head in one bite. The words only struck her later, as the anger was so shocking for the young kit to hear that she could only sit there and process what was being said for a good couple of seconds.

 "You are such a lazy, fox-hearted _coward_!" Greeneyes was right in front of her father, her stance protective of both herself and seemingly something else that Flashkit would not be able to percieve until later - the protectiveness that came from a mother's rage over her kits. "You do realize you have a daughter? She _needs_ you!" Her voice was quaking with fury, and Flashkit's fur slowly rose along her spine as she realized that they were arguing over her.

 Her father seemed to feed off of her mother's emotions until his eyes blazed with them, his tail lashing across the kitten-soft ground. "I'm sure you can manage without me," Heavyclaw told her, his voice falsely sweet. His words began to rise in volume, until he was nearly screeching them at her face; "After all, you've been doing so well without me these past few moons, haven't you?!"

 

"Are you accusing me of something?" Her mother's eyes widened ever so slightly, and Flashkit watched as a flurry of sullen emotion flashed across her proud face; was it pain? "Say it outright if you are. Didn't your parents teach you to be a man?" Greeneyes' voice was cold, devoid of the emotions that had betrayed themselves a moment before. Greeneyes slid out her claws, digging them into the soft dirt of the nursery den's floor, and for one tense moment Flashkit felt a soft pang of fear race through her. Her fur began to prickle, and she knew it wasn't only from the cool shadows that were touching her silvery fur.

 Sharp teeth pricked the back of Flashkit's neck scruff, and she let out a shrill squeal of surprise as she was lifted into the air. For a second she hung there like a bird in the middle of its flight, and then she was dropped onto the camp floor, pulled out of the nursery by... by who? Flashkit turned, surprise churning through her and distracting her momentarily from her parent's troubles as she spotted Nightshade, Riverclan's medicine cat, looking down at her sympathetically.

 

"Nightshade!" Flashkit gasped out in exclamation. She was on her feet in a moment, weaving around Nightshade's legs and letting out loud purrs of delight, her earlier dread forgotten. "Where were you? I tried to visit you earlier, but you weren't in your den!"

 

Nightshade released a small ' _mrrow_ ' of laughter as she tried to follow the kit's movements with her eyes, which left her spinning in a somewhat awkward circle. "I was gathering herbs for the elders. A medicine cat is always busy, little one."

 "I know, I know..." Flashkit pushed her muzzle against Nightshade's, and for a second everything was alright - until, suddenly, it _wasn't_. Everything hit her again at once, and the force of her emotions caused her to sit down with a deep frown on her face, her chest aching with sadness as she thought of her parents arguing. 

 "Did you go in there for anything important, Flashkit?" Nightshade was asking her, and suddenly Flashkit was hit with the realization that Nightshade had snatched her out of the den like a mother pulling her child out of danger. Deciding to ignore the question Nightshade had presented to her, Flashkit confronted the medicine cat on why she had chosen to do such a thing.

 

"Why did you haul me out of there? I was listening to my parents." Flashkit tilted her head to look up at Nightshade, meeting her gaze boldly. The medicine cat's expression turned uncomfortably serious, as if she didn't want to have to discuss this with such a young child. She closed her eyes for a few moments, as if she were lost in her own thought processes.

 "You shouldn't be around them when they're like that," Nightshade finally rumbled out in a low voice. She opened her eyes and was on her paws in an instant, gently nudging Flashkit onto her feet and away from the nursery. Flashkit stumbled at first but quickly regained her footing, allowing Nightshade to guide her towards the medicine den.

 

Flashkit recalled in an agonizing moment that her parents' fight had been related to her in some way. The thought was beginning to consume her, slowly driving her mad in a long process that would last for years to come. Suddenly, it became clear to Flashkit that she had to know what she did wrong. Flashkit wasn't a stubborn kit - she would not mind apologizing for a mistake she had made, and attempting to correct her behavior. So, after taking a deep, drawn out breath, Flashkit turned to Nightshade and prepared to ask the dreaded question.

 

"Nightshade?" Flashkit murmured, her voice quiet and shy. Anxiety gnawed beneath her pelt, and Flashkit slowly lowered her gaze in response to it. "Why would they fight like that? I heard them mention me. Are they mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

 "What?" Nightshade abruptly stopped, one paw raised in the air, turning her shocked gaze to look at Flashkit. "Of course not. It'll never be your fault who your parents are or what they choose to do." The medicine cat gave Flashkit a look that displayed how upset that assumption made her. Guilt made Flashkit hesitate, but she knew she had gone too far to shy away from talking about this.

 

"I just don't understand." Flashkit lowered her tail until it was brushing against the ground, still refusing to look at Nightshade. "The only thing I can think of that they'd be mad over would be me crashing into Stonetooth earlier."

 Nightshade shook her head and rested her tail on Flashkit's shoulder, surprising the kit into looking up at her. "There's a lot more going on behind the scenes, some of which they don't want you to know about. It's not your fault. No one can control their actions, but we can learn to live with them."

 

"Live with them? How?" Flashkit leaned into Nightshade's touch as the initial shock faded, and Nightshade responded by rasping her tongue over the young kit's head.

 "I can't answer that for you. Cats need to figure out the solution to that question themselves." Flashkit looked crestfallen, but Nightshade continued before she could protest. "However, I can offer an escape for you, for when they get like this."

 "You can?" Flashkit perked her ears up, and Nightshade twitched her whiskers with barely concealed amusement at how hopeful she looked.

 "Of course. If the fighting ever gets so bad that you can't stand it, come help me out in the medicine den. I have plenty of work for you to do, and with no apprentice, I would sure appreciate the extra paw." Nightshade's eyes glimmered with barely concealed amusement, and Flashkit knew she was right. Nightshade was constantly moving around the camp, busy but with little to no help. It would soon be time that she took on an apprentice, but that wasn't for Nightshade to decide - it was up to Starclan.

 

Flashkit felt warm happiness heat up her fur at the medicine cat's suggestion. It felt good to know that someone cared about her emotional well-being in this situation. "Okay. Thank you, Nightshade."

 Nightshade nodded and began to rise to her paws, but before she could get far, Flashkit called out to her. A final question had popped into her mind, and she was desperate to get it answered.

 

"Do you think my parents will stay together?"

 

Nightshade hesitated for just a second. "I can't answer that for you," She finally said, and Flashkit nodded slowly in acceptance. "But if they don't," Nightshade continued, pausing another moment for dramatic effect, "I'm sure it'll be alright."

 

"Yeah... thank you." Flashkit leaned up to touch her nose to Nightshade's. The medicine cat flicked her tail lovingly towards Flashkit in reply. 

 "Go back to playing with Mallowkit." Nightshade nodded towards where the kit was still playing with Stonetooth's tail, though they had moved a little ways away from the fresh-kill pile now. _Probably so they won't bother the cats who are still eating,_ Flashkit thought, amusement causing her whiskers to twitch.

 

"Okay." Flashkit agreed, feeling warmed by her conversation with Nightshade. As she began to walk back towards Mallowkit, Flashkit decided that she wouldn't let the issue with her parents concern her too much; at least not for the time being. She made a quick decision not to tell Mallowkit, either - she didn't want her best friend to get involved, especially considering it may only be a temporary thing. Approaching her adopted sibling with her tail high, Flashkit only had one thought.

  __

_Hopefully mom and dad are able to figure themselves out and be happy, so that we can be a perfect, normal family._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashkit realizes that Mallowkit is dealing with something personal of her own. Meanwhile, Flashkit's own life drastically changes.

Flashkit's ears were pricked, her eyes wide as she slowly scanned the Riverclan camp. She twitched one ear as she heard a rustle behind her. Turning around, she let her mouth fall open, taking in scent through the glands on the roof of her mouth. Mallowkit's scent hit her full force, and she dropped into her best impression of the hunter's crouch. Gliding forward paw-by-paw, she paused only briefly to wiggle her haunches before she gathered herself together and leapt over the bush dividing her from her adopted sibling. The squeal from Mallowkit was cut short as Flashkit's paws slammed into her shoulder.

"You're eavesdropping on me!" Flashkit accused, whiskers twitching as she pinned her sister down to the ground. Even though she was pretending to be angry, amusement was bubbling up in her chest, and she had to keep down a ' _mrrow_ ' to make sure that nothing gave her away. Mallowkit squirmed beneath Flashkit, letting out soft grunts. After a brief delay, she was finally able to turn around and bat at her sister's belly. 

"I can't eavesdrop on anything if you aren't talking!" Mallowkit protested, and Flashkit leapt out of her way to stand neatly to the side. Her sister got to her paws and shook out her fur, huffing as some of it stood out in clumps. _She always has been a neat freak when it comes to her appearance_ , Flashkit thought with an amused ' _mrrow_ '.

"Okay, maybe you can't hear me saying anything, but it's still technically eavesdropping if you sneak around me." Flashkit pointed out and sat down, washing one paw and drawing it over her face.

Two moons after Flashkit had caught her parents arguing with one another, the two kittens were almost old enough to become apprentice warriors. With age came size, which meant they were big enough to be cramping up the nursery. It didn't help much that Blizzardheart had moved into the nursery, pregnant with Gorgeleap's kits. The Riverclan deputy had been overjoyed to announce his first litter, and now he was taking special care to make sure that the mother of his children would be safe - even if it meant annoying her to death with his worrying.

"Are you ready to become an apprentice?" Flashkit changed the subject, setting down her paw as excitement coursed through her. During these past few moons, Flashkit had only thought about one thing - becoming a warrior apprentice. Once she had become an apprentice, she could start helping her Clan, and to Flashkit, helping people was one of the most important things she could ever do. She couldn't imagine living in a world where helping someone was frowned upon.

"Of course I am, what kit isn't?" Mallowkit raised one hindpaw to scratch at her ear. "Although sometimes I think you'd be better off as a medicine cat, with all the time you spend around Nightshade," Mallowkit teased.

Flashkit felt a ripple of embarrassment flow through her. Within the last couple of moons, Flashkit had decided to take up Nightshade's offer, which meant spending less time in the nursery and more time in the medicine den. This hadn't seemed to go down well with her Clanmates, who were beginning to whisper that Flashkit had her head in the clouds, and was going to become Starclan's chosen medicine cat. Despite the time spent in the strong-smelling den, however, Flashkit had her paws set on becoming a warrior apprentice. 

_Besides_ , Flashkit thought, _why would it be any cat's buisness on whether or not she wanted to be a warrior or a medicine cat?_ Although the real reason for hanging around the medicine den wasn't that she wanted to be a medicine cat, she could still respect both medicine cat and warrior positions within a Clan. The teasing from her Clanmates only caused Flashkit to solidify her love for Nightshade more and more, and she was beginning to look up to her almost like a child would their parent. She'd never admit in those conversations that the real reason for going to the medicine den so often was that her parents scared her when they began to fight.

"The medicine den is just a good place to help clear my mind." Flashkit replied calmly, pulling herself out of her thoughts. She tried not to let Mallowkit see how much the teasing had affected her. "Plus, Nightshade is a pretty good listener."

Pushing the medicine cat - and her parent's fighting - out of her mind, Flashkit breathed out a soft sigh and swiped her paw lightly at Mallowkit's ear. "We should play a game," She offered, glad to be able to hide her troubles in a game meant specifically for kits like themselves.

Mallowkit twitched her ear and ducked out of the way of Flashkit's paw, interest in her expression. "What do you have in mind?"

"Hide and seek." Flashkit twitched her whiskers. It had always been her favorite game to play with Mallowkit, but they hadn't played it in quite a while. Flashkit could feel the familiar itch that was drawing her towards the game again, and though she was close to being apprenticed, she figured that having a little fun before she had actual responsibilites couldn't hurt.

"Sounds good," Mallowkit stood up and stretched out her muscles luxuriously, her tail curling over her back as her jaws parted in a yawn, showing off her light pink tongue. "Who should hide first?"

"You can hide first, and I'll count." Flashkit kneaded the ground lightly with her paws. The young kit was starting to get excited - she loved playing games with her best friend, and she had missed hide and seek more than she had originally thought. 

"Close your eyes then, mouse-brain," Mallowkit teased, her eyes sparkling with thinly veiled mischief. Flashkit let out a light-hearted ' _mrrow_ ' of amusement and closed her eyes, pricking her ears as she began to count in her head. Flashkit liked being the seeker more than she did being the hider - it was a great way to practice her tracking skills. The first thing she liked to do was see if she could pinpoint the direction of Mallowkit's pawsteps simply by listening to her walk away. She was usually able to do this with what had become practiced ease. This time proved no different - her soft ear fur was able to pick up the sound of Mallowkit walking towards the medicine den.

When Flashkit opened her eyes again, Mallowkit was gone. Standing up, Flashkit used the opportunity to stretch out her muscles. She let her jaws fall open, drawing scent into the glands on the roof of her mouth. She could tell that Mallowkit's scent led towards the medicine den. 

Deciding to take her time with this round of the game, Flashkit wandered around the clearing. Since it was still fairly early in the day, things were relatively quiet around camp. Stonestar and Gorgeleap had organized the patrols early this morning, and afterwards Stonestar had disappeared somewhere with Nightshade as Gorgeleap went to visit his pregnant mate. Now, Gorgeleap and Blizzardheart were lounging in the sun just outside the nursery, sharing tongues with one another as the sun rose above the horizon. Stonetooth was also in camp today, helping his apprentice Snowpaw clear old moss out of the dens around camp. Other than that, everyone else was either out of camp or in their dens, which had left Flashkit alone until she had noticed that Mallowkit was watching her.

Getting bored with looking around the camp, Flashkit allowed her footsteps to lead her towards the medicine den. Her senses proved right once more when she smelled Mallowkit's strong scent just outside the entrance. Flashkit didn't hesitate to push her way inside.

She located her sibling in a clump of ferns just inside the medicine den, crouched down with her back facing the entrance. Flashkit noticed that she seemed distracted, but with her focus being solely on the game at hand, she didn't think to question why. Dropping into a crouch, she began to creep towards Mallowkit's hidden form, her whiskers twitching in excitement. She was going to win the game! Flashkit was _so_ gonna rub this in Mallowkit's face.

Flashkit's inner thoughts were interrupted when Mallowkit let out an angry, "No!" 

Flashkit jumped, caught completely off guard. Her attention focused on Mallowkit as her sibling sprang from the ferns she had been hiding in and began to run across the tiny clearing of the medicine den. Flashkit then saw that Nightshade and Stonestar were leaned against the back wall of the den, deep in conversation. She had been too previously caught up in the game to take notice of either, but it seemed like Mallowkit had been honed in on the two from the very beginning.

"You can't make me do it. You can't make me be anything that I don't want to be!" Mallowkit was saying, her voice loud and furious. Her form was that of an independent woman, and Flashkit had to take a moment to admire her courage and strength. She then crept underneath the ferns Mallowkit had been hiding under just a few seconds ago, concealing herself where she would not yet be spotted. "I'm my own cat, and you can't choose my destiny for me!"

Stonestar swept Mallowkit's young form with a cold look. His eyes were sharp enough to pierce through layers of stone, and for a moment Flashkit was scared for her friend. _It isn't often that many cats choose to disrespect Stonestar. He's so scary!_ Flashkit thought to herself. However, before Stonestar could speak, Nightshade cut in, her gaze warm and light, contrasting the Riverclan leader's stare. Her voice was quiet, and it was tired, like this had been a long battle between herself and the kit before her, but her words were gentle and kind. "Mallowkit, you know very well that I'm not choosing your destiny. I've explained it to you before; Starclan has chosen you, and they have chosen to call upon you to represent them. They know that you are the perfect cat for Riverclan, and it would be best to respect their wishes, no matter how much you don't like them." 

Flashkit found herself agreeing with the Riverclan medicine cat. She wasn't sure what this was about, but whatever it was that Mallowkit was defying, she shouldn't be disrespectful of Starclan. Her thoughts were forced to an abrupt halt when Mallowkit rose her head up to stare defiantly into the purple eyes of the Riverclan medicine cat, words leaving her mouth that Flashkit would never be able to forget.

"Well, guess what, Nightshade? Starclan doesn't know what they're talking about. They certainly know _nothing_ about me." Mallowkit declared, her voice angry yet steady. Flashkit gasped audibly in shock, drawing the attention of all three cats in the den. Mallowkit in particular whipped around to see her there, her eyes lighting up in anger. For a moment Flashkit shrank back, startled at the intensity of the emotions presented to her, but when Mallowkit realized it was her friend she simply sighed, the anger slowly trickling out of her. 

"Come on Flashkit, let's get out of here." With one final glare thrown over her shoulder at the two adults in the room, Mallowkit headed towards the entrance. Flashkit shot the adults an anxious, apologetic look, but only Nightshade returned it to her kindly. Quickly ducking out of the medicine den, Flashkit joined her sister outside. Mallowkit had sat down and began to wash off her pelt, her tail twitching irritably.

Flashkit suddenly felt very awkward about the whole ordeal. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop on her sister and her affairs, and had merely been hoping to win their game. Flashkit began to feel very self conscious about the fact that they were growing up, and that Mallowkit seemed to be caught up in her own personal issues without Flashkit.

"I'm sorry, Mallowkit. I didn't mean to eavesdrop on you, I promise." Flashkit told her friend, regret dripping from her mew as she sat down just a few mouse-lengths away from her. Anxiety was clear on the young kit's face. When Mallowkit turned around, her face was soft, and she leaned towards Flashkit to lick her forehead soothingly before pulling away again.

"Don't worry about it, Flashkit. I know you didn't mean anything by it. You don't have a hurtful bone in your body." She ' _mrrow_ 'ed softly and then sighed. Flashkit let her eyes search Mallowkit's face, taking in the stress that was sitting so plainly there, before slowly lowering her gaze.

"Mallowkit... what was that about? Should I be worried? I mean... I... I don't _know_. I don't think you should be defying Starclan, even, even though I don't know what they wanted of you, I just..." Flashkit broke off to shake her head, obviously confusing herself. The fact was, she _didn't know_ anything about this situation. It wasn't something Mallowkit had opened up to her about. Throwing in her opinion seemed like she was intruding on something personal, and Flashkit didn't like it.

"Flashkit. Don't worry about it." Mallowkit's voice was stern, yet kind. "It's not as important as Nightshade made it out to be. She likes to overreact, especially when it comes to Starclan, but know that I am not doing anything that will somehow bring down the wrath of Starclan around me or whatever. It's not that serious."

Flashkit looked up at Mallowkit, meeting her eyes. It had felt so important to Mallowkit - Flashkit remembered the way her voice had sounded, and how she had seen _exactly_ how much it meant to her just by how straight Mallowkit's posture had been. And yet Mallowkit said it wasn't important, and that she shouldn't worry about it. For a second, Flashkit wondered if she should defy Mallowkit, and pry for details. But then Flashkit thought of her own secret, of her parents fighting, and felt guilt gnaw in her stomach. She could never subject Mallowkit to that kind of pain, and if Mallowkit genuinely believed that this should stay personal, then Flashkit was going to respect that.

"Okay." Flashkit finally said, and slowly rose to her paws, shaking out her pelt. "I won't worry about it, and I won't pry. But if you ever need anything... please come to me about it. _Please_ don't shut me out. Okay?"

Mallowkit's warm gaze followed Flashkit, and she nodded. "Of course. Thank you for caring so much."

"It's what sisters are for." Flashkit nudged Mallowkit with her nose, gentle and yet slightly teasing. "Come on, we should head back to the nursery. Mom'll wanna see us."

"Yeah, you're right." Mallowkit stood, and with pelts touching, the two sibling-like friends began to make their way across the clearing towards the nursery. All was peaceful as they approached - until suddenly it _wasn't_.

Greeneyes burst out of the nursery with a loud huff. Her fur had risen along her spine, causing her to look twice her size. Without hesitating she stormed past Gorgeleap and Blizzardheart, who looked at her curiously as she exited the camp. Flashkit knew that it was about to get bad from the moment she saw her mother, and she could tell that Mallowkit sensed it too when her sister pressed a little harder against her side in support.

Heavyclaw slid out of the nursery behind Greeneyes, his eyes tired as he looked on after her. He looked worn down, defeated. For a moment, Flashkit felt bad for him. He turned his gaze towards her and Mallowkit, who still stood beside her, and shook his head as if regret was clawing at his stomach.

"I'm so, so sorry, Flashkit. I'm so sorry its turned out like this."

"Dad?" Flashkit could feel panic starting to gnaw at her stomach, and it was beginning to get hard to breathe. "What's happening? Why does mom look so angry?"

"Flashkit..." Heavyclaw looked at her and then looked away, struggling with what he had to say. "Your mother and I, we... we've decided the best way to settle our _differences_ is to no longer see one another. We're not going to be mates anymore."

Heavyclaw began to talk, but Flashkit's attention drifted away after those words as her world crumbled around her very paws. She swayed under the force of her emotions, and Mallowkit pressed against her, steadying her.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this_ , Flashkit thought desperately, closing her eyes as pain pounded inside her, each pang like a stone dropping into a fast-churning river. _We were supposed to be a normal, happy family. I was supposed to have a mom and a dad and we were supposed to love each other. We weren't meant to fight all the time, we weren't meant to split up like this!_

The strain of her feelings coupled with her despairing thoughts caused Flashkit to sit down heavily on her haunches, and she was numbly aware of Mallowkit beside her, making an attempt to comfort her through the act of sharing tongues. If Flashkit had been a little more stable, she would have felt appreciative of the action, but for the time being, she felt nothing.

"Was it my fault?" She asked her father in a hoarse whisper, her voice scratchy and strained as she opened her eyes to look at him. Heavyclaw looked at her, seeming shocked at the implication, before shaking his head.

"It will _never_ be your fault." He tells her, stern and serious. He gives her a once over with his eyes, but the regret seemed to be too much for him to bear, as he begins to turn and head towards the fresh-kill pile without another word, his tail dragging along the ground as he goes.

"How could they leave me like this?" Flashkit whispered to her sister, her eyes still lingering on the place her father had stood. She's vaguely aware of her body shaking, but she makes no effort to stop it. "I've only ever wanted a normal, happy family. I don't understand. Was that too much to ask for?"

"Flashkit..." Mallowkit is soothing her in an instant, washing behind her ears and curling against her. "It'll be okay. I promise, okay? Look at me."

Flashkit would do whatever Mallowkit needed of her, so she does turn to look at her. The force of love on Mallowkit's face nearly knocks Flashkit away, and she can feel herself beginning to choke up.

"Even if your family leaves you," Mallowkit told her, her voice emphasizing every word, and even at this age Flashkit knows she'll remember these words for the rest of her life. "Even if the world leaves you alone, I'll always be here for you. We will be sisters _forever_ , okay? I love you."

Flashkit can hardly get the words out she's so emotional, but when she finally ends up saying them back, they come out in a choked sob that leads to a breakdown as she presses against her sister's warm fur, desperate to get lost and never return back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end of chapter 2!!! I absolutely love Flashkit and Mallowkit's relationship, I wish I had a sister like her when I was growing up ;n; as always, I thank my editor for helping me with the progression of this chapter. I love you Steph! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashkit and Mallowkit have their apprentice ceremony.

Flashkit's entire body was buzzing with excitement, from the ends of her whiskers all the way down to the tip of her tail. Her paws seemed to be filled with the electric energy her emotions were giving off, making it impossible for her to sit still. She kept adjusting her stance from side to side or standing up and then sitting again; fidgeting, both an act of her genuine elation but also one of nerves. Waiting was a nightmare for a young kit, especially on a day as big as this. 

Mallowkit had settled down to sit next to her younger sister. Her body language contrasted Flashkit's greatly; where Flashkit could hardly stay in one location, Mallowkit was as still as a stone. Her calm demeanor didn't seem to be derived from contentment, much to Flashkit's worry. In fact, Mallowkit looked more upset than anything, Flashkit noted. Looking at her adopted sister, Flashkit gave her a nudge so hearty it nearly knocked Mallowkit off of her paws.

"Hey, what's wrong with you? You're acting like you found maggots in your fresh-kill." Flashkit asked as Mallowkit straightened herself out with a huff. Flashkit twitched her whiskers, trying - and failing - to conceal her amusement.

"Just because I'm not acting like a mess doesn't mean I'm not excited," Mallowkit retorted, and although the words were harsh, her tone was anything but. Her face softened slightly, her eyes starting to glimmer teasingly as she looked at Flashkit. "You do know that not everyone jumps off the walls everytime something big happens, right?"

Ignoring the look that had settled itself upon Mallowkit's face, Flashkit looked away from her sister with a loud sniff as she twitched her tail. "I, for one, think that I'm completely allowed to act like a mess. Today is a big day for me, Mallowkit. I'm going to become an apprentice warrior."

Today was the day that Flashkit turned six moons old, which meant that, according to the warrior code, Flashkit could officially become an apprentice warrior. Mallowkit had been slightly older than Flashkit, but had made the decision to put off her ceremony for a few days so that they could begin their apprenticeships together. An apprentice ceremony was one of the biggest moments in a young cat's life, after all - that, and their warrior ceremonies, of course. It'd be moons before they would be experienced enough for that, though. 

After grooming their fur for them (much to Flashkit's protest, as she had wanted to do it herself), Lightfeather and Greeneyes had gone off somewhere to talk. Greeneyes had given her explicit orders to make sure her fur stayed clean, though Flashkit wasn't taking care to follow them very well - her fidgeting was starting to mess it up again. 

Deciding to try and stay seated, Flashkit settled her paws beneath her chest and let her wide blue gaze scan the Riverclan clearing.

The first cat that caught her attention was Snowpaw. Snowpaw was an elder apprentice - she was close to getting her warrior name. Her mentor, Stonetooth, had trained her hard and taught her well. Flashkit watched the young apprentice in what could only be described as affectionate admiration - the white patches in Snowpaw's brown-tinted fur stood out to Flashkit as they caught on the sun's bright rays of light, and Flashkit let her eyes trail up to look at Snowpaw's eyes as the apprentice started to pull out more moss from the elder's den. Snowpaw had brilliant blue eyes that sparkled like the summer sky, and Flashkit would be lying to herself if she denied having the teeniest crush on her. 

_One day, I'll be just like her_ , Flashkit thought as Snowpaw pushed her way back into the elder's den to get more of the old bedding she had been previously clearing out. She wanted to help her Clan just like Snowpaw did - by being humble and honest in her duties. That was going to be her goal as an apprentice warrior, and Flashkit couldn't wait to fulfill it.

Her attention was drawn across the clearing to the two other elder apprentices of the Clan - Goldpaw and Troutpaw. As Snowpaw's siblings, they were also almost ready to become warriors. Frecklespots, who was Goldpaw's mentor, was overseeing the two of them as they practiced fighting moves in the camp clearing.

"You two are doing great," Frecklespots was telling them. "Goldpaw, try to kick out with your hind leg when you jump. If your back claw can catch them as you land, you'll injure them further, which can be a make or break for any serious Clan battle."

Goldpaw had turned to give his full attention to Frecklespots, and now nodded, looking deeply serious. He turned towards his brother and dropped into a smooth crouch, silent and deadly, before leaping. Instead of going straight for the leg kick, he twisted in midair to where his forepaws landed on Troutpaw's back, letting his hind leg run over Troutpaw's spine. He lightly nipped the back of Troutpaw's scruff before leaping off of him and landing lightly on all fours.

Flashkit swooned at the refined movements as Frecklespots began to praise the two apprentices. The fact that one day that would be something she could do fascinated her to no end. She was so ready to take on this new role in her Clan, to learn how to be the best warrior she could be! If only Stonestar would-

The thought was cut off as Stonestar emerged from the leader's den. His stone-cold eyes scanned the crowd and, wasting no time, he turned and leapt onto the highrock. "Let all cats old enough to swim gather beneath the highrock for a Clan meeting," Stonestar yowled, his tail tip twitching lightly as if the whole thing was a minor annoyance for him.

Flashkit's eyes widened and she was quick to leap to her paws. Before she could get a running start, however, Greeneyes appeared from behind her with Lightfeather by her side. She placed her tail on her daughter's shoulder, forcing Flashkit to pause before she could begin sprinting. 

"I thought I told you to stay beside Mallowkit?" Greeneyes flashed her a scolding look, and Flashkit felt her fur heat up in embarrassment. Moving her shoulder away and adjusting her posture, Flashkit muttered a soft apology and began to wash her fur, smoothing it out for her mother.

Greeneyes looked satisfied for a moment before a flash of anxiety ran across her face. "There's really no time for that, Flashkit. Stonestar won't wait around for you to clean yourself! I told you to keep your fur clean-"

"I'm sorry," Flashkit cut her off and then looked briefly embarrassed as she rose her head to look at her mother. "I got so excited I could hardly keep still!" 

Greeneyes looked as if she was going to scold Flashkit, but then simply sighed and shook her head. "I know today is a big day for you. But don't get so excited that you start getting impatient, okay?"

Flashkit went to respond to her mother's words before Stonestar interrupted her. Her gaze was drawn to the big gray leader who had the entire Clan's attention fixated on him. Suddenly, Flashkit felt more nervous than excited; what if she messed up in front of the entire Clan? What if she was denied her apprentice name because she said or did something wrong? These thoughts raced through her head as Stonestar opened his mouth and began meowing.

"Today is a very important day for the Clan. Without this ritual, warriors would never become warriors, and without warriors, Clans would never become Clans." Stonestar's gaze wracked the clearing. Flashkit felt herself shiver when it finally landed on her. Stonestar had always had somewhat of a talent for giving solemn speeches; it was what got him elected leader, despite his harsher ruling.

Flashkit felt Mallowkit shift nervously beside her as the leader simply stared at them for a moment, and suddenly, with great clarity, Flashkit realized that everyone in the clearing was looking at them.

"Flashkit, Mallowkit, you have both reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed." Stonestar took a moment to pause, letting the brief silence emphasize his words before continuing, "Flashkit, come forward."

Rising to her paws - slower this time - Flashkit made her way to the base of the highrock. As she walked, she seemed to be hyperaware of all the eyes on her; her pelt burned with the vast majority of stares, and she wondered if any of them were judging her in this moment. Flashkit straightened her posture and rose her apprehensive blue gaze to look up at her leader. Stonestar met her eyes with a guarded expression, not making his emotions clear one way or the other.

"From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Flashpaw." Stonestar let his eyes travel around the clearing until they landed on the Riverclan deputy, who was staring at his leader with a clear expression. "Gorgeleap, you have been Riverclan's deputy for many seasons. I expect you to pass on your knowledge and loyalty to Flashpaw."

Shock rippled through Flashpaw's entire body, and for a second the words her leader had said didn't register in Flashpaw's head. _Gorgeleap is my mentor? But... but he's the deputy of this Clan! How in Starclan's name did this happen?!_ She began to walk forward, her body numb. Suddenly, self-pride washed through her, and as she met Gorgeleap's gaze - accepting, proud, determined - she felt as if nothing could go wrong anymore.

Gorgeleap stretched out his muzzle until he could touch noses with his new apprentice, his warm breath stirring the fur on her cheek. "You're doing great," He murmured to her in a low, private voice, and Flashpaw felt a swell of pleasant emotions as she realized that she had been given the best mentor she could possibly have. 

Flashpaw turned her head around and rose it, puffing out her chest and twitching her whiskers proudly. The Clan began to call out her new name in a chant that rang across the clearing - "Flashpaw! Flashpaw!" Her eyes ran across the back of the crowd until she came upon her sister, who was looking at her with such intense love that Flashpaw nearly swayed on her paws. For a brief second, Flashpaw felt like she belonged to this Clan of cats that she had begun to build her home and identity around.

Flashpaw's ear twitched as she picked up the faint murmurings of conversation over the echo of her name. 

"Personally, I don't think she's going to be a good apprentice. Not as good as my kits, anyway."

Flashpaw froze, her heart hammering so loudly in her throat that she felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She swiveled her head around to stare at where the voice had come from, blinking slowly as her eyes fell on her father's new mate, Goldenface. Mother to Carpfur, Perchtail, and Opalwhisker, Goldenface had recently become part of Flashpaw's little "family." However, Goldenface absolutely despised Flashpaw, and seemed to let her know it every chance she could. It was like Flashpaw could never be good enough in her eyes - she'd always be second best, the bad child, the evil one.

And yet, her father always seemed to simply allow this talk to happen. Flashpaw let the hurt wash over her, accepting her feelings for what they simply were. She wondered if what they were saying was true - after all, if her own father wouldn't defend her name, then why wouldn't it be? Turning her head away, she began to pad back over to her sister. She sat down beside her, a gloomy expression settling on her face. Mallowkit cast her a worried look, and for a second Flashpaw wondered if she was going to ask what was wrong. Mallowkit didn't get that far, however, as she was instantly interrupted by Stonestar. "Mallowkit, come forward."

Flashpaw decided then that she wouldn't hold onto this pain right now. There would be time to grieve about it later - her sister was more important. Giving her sister an encouraging nudge, Flashpaw let her facial expression relax. Mallowkit looked startled and then relieved, nodding at Flashpaw. She then started up towards highrock, where Stonestar was waiting to conduct her ceremony.

What seemed strange to Flashpaw as she watched her sister approach the sacred stone was that Mallowkit didn't actually seem happy about this. Instead, she seemed nervous and jumpy, occasionally looking back at Flashpaw as if Flashpaw were going to ambush her from behind. When she finally settled, she avoided Stonestar's gaze, staring down at her paws instead.

Stonestar shared the same solemnness with Mallowkit that he did with Flashpaw, which made Flashpaw wonder if he really wanted to do this. The scarred tom never seemed particularly interested in Clan life nowadays, now that Flashpaw thought about it - he was getting old, though, so that could have been why.

"Mallowkit, you have reached your sixth moon. It is finally time for you to be apprenticed alongside your friend and sister, Flashpaw." A brief pause seemed to stretch out how important this was, and then Stonestar continued, "Mallowkit, from this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Mallowpaw."

Flashpaw could feel her body tingling all over. The warmth she felt from knowing her sister would be beside her no matter what pushed away her brief conflict between her and her stepmother. She was happy for her sibling - and very proud of her, too. Flashpaw couldn't wait to start this new chapter of her life with someone she cared about.

_Mallowpaw's going to become an apprentice warrior! We're going to be able to hunt together. We'll learn how to fish and fight while at each other's sides. We'll even get to share dens!_

Flashpaw's brief moment of victory was pushed away when Stonestar uttered his next words: "Nightshade, you're ready to take on an apprentice. You will be Mallowpaw's mentor." 

Flashpaw felt as if she had been dunked into a tank of ice water. She could feel her fur weighing her down in the water, her skin slowly turning numb until her bones and every other inch of her being felt immobile. She stared at Mallowpaw in frozen horror, trying to will her to object by look alone. Mallowpaw glanced at her for a moment and then turned away to meet Nightshade's stare.

The Clan had broken into surprised murmuring that fell on deaf ears when it came to Flashpaw. "Mallowpaw is a good cat, and both Starclan and I agree that she would make an excellent medicine cat." Nightshade nodded her head at her new apprentice. "I'm sure you will be accepted for who you are at the next moonstone gathering. I will do my best to raise you to your full potential as a medicine cat, so that you may serve and protect your Clan in the ways of peace and spiritual guidance."

Mallowpaw dipped her head. "Thank you, Nightshade. I appreciate this, and I'm glad that I'm finally able to share this destiny with you."

As Mallowpaw and Nightshade stepped forward to touch noses, the Clan broke into cheers. "Mallowpaw! Mallowpaw!" Where the cheering had before warmed Flashpaw, she now swayed on her paws, feeling completely outcasted. Her life was being suddenly shattered before her eyes. Her future, her plans - they were all ruined. She wasn't going to have her sister beside her anymore. She wasn't going to hunt with her, or fight with her, or share a nest with her. She was going to be alone, just as she was alone within her family - just as she had always been.

Mallowpaw turned to walk towards Flashpaw as the crowd began to break up. She twitched an ear, looking nervous. "Flashpaw... I can see you're upset, but-"

"Of course I'm upset!" Flashpaw exploded, all of her anger and hurt coming out in one big burst. "You _betrayed_ me! You betrayed your promise to be sisters forever!"

"We're still sisters!" Mallowpaw protested; the new apprentice looked both guilty and hurt. "This is just... something I have to do."

"You were supposed to be my best friend. Not some backstabbing liar." Flashpaw hissed at her. Mallowpaw flinched and then narrowed her eyes. 

"Flashpaw, you don't understand. I didn't have a choice. _Starclan_ wanted me - not this Clan, not it's leader or it's medicine cat. _Starclan_. I have been chosen for a reason, and personally, I don't like it at all. But I'm dealing with it like a _mature adult_ because I know that I can't throw a hissy fit in the middle of an apprentice ceremony when something doesn't go my way."

Flashpaw let out a gasp, her eyes widening. "You... are you calling me childish?"

"No." Mallowpaw looked extremely tired all of a sudden. "But you cannot simply reject our fates when it doesn't fit what you want. And being selfish isn't a good look in the slightest."

Pain washed over Flashpaw. Suddenly she found herself asking if Mallowpaw was right. Maybe she just simply wasn't good enough to be a decent adult. She turned her head away and without another word headed for the camp exit.

"Flashpaw! Flashpaw, where are you going?" Came a voice from behind her, and Flashpaw tilted her head, pausing when she saw that it was Gorgeleap who had called out to her. "Flashpaw, you can't go out there. You don't know the territory yet."

" _I don't care_!" Flashpaw hissed, her voice intense and angry. Gorgeleap flinched, looking shocked at the sudden anger on his new apprentice. Flashpaw felt guilt prick her stomach and turned her head away. "I don't care, okay? I'm going out. I need to clear my head."

Without waiting for her mentor's reply, Flashpaw pushed through the camp's exit. Ignoring the shocked mew from behind telling her to come back, she broke into a full-on sprint, leaving her camp and her sister behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for getting this chapter out super late!! I hope I can make it up to you all by providing you with this :)  
> would like to note that i'll be updating the tags each time I post a chapter, so maybe keep up with those!!!!  
>   
> where do u guys think flashpaw is gonna go? what do u guys think shes gonna do? you'll find out in chapter 4 ;)  
> (as always, thanks to steph for helping me edit this! love you steph!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashpaw gets lost and ends up meeting an unusual stranger.

Flashpaw continued running at a full sprint, her vision blurring the trees and the reeds around her. For just a little while, nothing seemed to exist except the constant burn and strain of her leg muscles. Then her chest tightened with the urge to breathe, and she slowed down until she was trotting, drawing in deep, gasping breaths of air as she went.

As Flashpaw took in ragged, panting breaths, she began to take in the world around her. Everything was so... _new_. She could smell fresh mouse tracks laid across her path, and hear the tumble of the great river beyond the dense reeds. Without hesitating, Flashpaw pushed her way through the thick stems until she was standing on the edge of the riverbank. She drew to a stop, her eyes casting out on the rapid waters.

Flashpaw let her eyes chase up the bank, taking in the pebbles, and then she took a look at the sky. She let out a weary sigh. _I've ruined everything. Mallowpaw will never forgive me for ruining her apprentice ceremony._

Flashpaw lowered herself to sit down on the pebbles with a gentle crunching sound. Her head lowered until she was staring at her paws. She had just felt so... so _bad._ Flashpaw had never had someone in her life that had promised to be there for her like Mallowpaw had done. She loved her sister so much, to the point of dreaming about being together forever. She wanted to get their warrior names together.

_But now Mallowpaw's a medicine cat._ Was it as bad of a thing as she was making it out to be? After all, Mallowpaw would still be family, and she'd still be in her Clan. She'd just be... a medicine cat. Which wasn't bad - _not all at,_ Flashpaw told herself. _It's just different._

Flashpaw wasn't sure what to do now. _Do I stay angry at her? Do I apologize?_ She was leaning towards apologizing. Despite what she had said to Mallowpaw - and they had been some awful things - she still loved her sister, so much. And she didn't want to lose her over a petty rank squabble.

_She called you childish_ , the voice in Flashpaw's mind reminded her. Flashpaw rose her head to look out over the water once again - _I'm sure she didn't mean it like that_. Flashpaw defended. _We were both under strain. I was the one who acted out first._

Flashpaw turned her head to scan the reeds and rose to her paws. _Besides, whatever I do now, my first step should be getting home_. She lifted a paw, and then paused as she realized she was - quite literally - utterly lost. She hadn't kept track of where she had ran, she had just been so upset that she had to move. Feeling suddenly embarrassed (and more than a little panicked), Flashpaw made her way up the bank and back towards the clearing behind the reeds.

_I can't believe that in ruining my relationship with Mallowpaw, I also managed to get lost! I'm such a mouse-brain,_ Flashpaw internally swore. She paced the edge of the clearing, sniffing the ground as she tried to find her scent trail back to camp, but all the new smells and sounds were confusing her. Her head was starting to hurt from the stress of the day, and she knew that sunset wasn't far off now.

Panic raced through her from ears to tail-tip. _This is all my fault._ She swayed on her paws, feeling completely and utterly helpless. For a moment, she considered giving up completely and building a den here; then, she caught a strong, fresh scent drifting on the breeze. Riverclan? Swiftly turning, she took a double take when she saw what had been causing the scent.

A white warrior with gray splotches on his fur was sitting in the middle of the clearing. His tail was wrapped neatly around his paws, his ears pricked at full alert. His baby blue eyes were locked on her. She could see the reeds behind him faintly through his fur and suddenly wondered if this was a warrior of Starclan. _I've certainly never seen him before_. But didn't medicine cats say Starclan cats had, well, er... stars in their fur? Flashpaw leaned her head down to lick her ruffled chest fur, hoping to hide her confusion.

The strange cat simply tilted his head to watch her, and when she rose her head, she adjusted her stance to start slowly towards him. "Who are you?" She asked in a voice that had only a slight shake to it. "This is Riverclan territory, you know..."

The white warrior twitched his whiskers in faint amusement, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet; it sounded similar to the breeze on the wind, or the whisper of the river flowing through the trees. "Hello, young one. You seem fresh out of the nursery. What is a kit doing out here, with no warrior, and no mother to protect her?"

Flashpaw felt suddenly embarrassed and shifted her paws underneath her. "I'm not a kit, I'm an apprentice! That means you should treat me with some respect."

"Oh, of course, my apologies." The warrior purred, low and deep in his chest. "Are you lost, then, apprentice?"

Flashpaw eyed him cautiously, but even with her suspicions, she suspected he wasn't going to hurt her. Allowing her muscles to relax, Flashpaw replied with, "Actually, yes. You see, er, I kinda forgot the way back to my camp. Do you know where that is? I mean - am I, are you a Starclan warrior? Have you been sent here to take me back?"

The white warrior slowly rose to his paws, and Flashpaw took a quick step back in response. A twinkle of amusement shone in the warrior's eye. "Relax, friend. Yes, I am a Starclan warrior. I'm here to take you home."

Flashpaw let every muscle on her relax, dropping onto her haunches without realizing it. "Good." She said simply, trying not to let the relief flowing through her body show on her face. _I'm so glad I don't have to fight him._

"Are you ready to travel? You must be tired, and the way is quite far." The Starclan warrior rose his head to sniff the air, and Flashpaw heaved herself to her paws. Now that he mentioned it, Flashpaw was tired. She had had quite an emotional day, after all - she realized that she'd be glad once she could settle back down in her nest and relax.

"I'm ready," she confirmed for him. The white warrior walked towards her, brushing his fur against hers, and then started past her. She fell in step behind him, her pawsteps sounding muted on the dirt-covered track.

They walked along the trail in silence. Flashpaw took the time to focus her attention elsewhere as she followed the warrior; she took in the scenary around her. A leaf fluttered down from it's branch, knocked off by the wind. A bird chirped somewhere in the distance, calling out for a lifelong mate of its own. Above all else, the river rushed on; the soothing sound seemed to stay around Flashpaw, enticing her deeper into the forest.

Soon they were standing just outside of her camp. For a moment, Flashpaw was surprised; no one had ever taken her somewhere so fast. _But this is a Starclan warrior_ , she reminded herself. She turned towards the warrior to thank him, but by the time she had done so, he was gone.

_I guess Starclan warriors don't stick around for very long_ , Flashpaw told herself, wondering why she felt so disappointed. _He did get me back to my camp. His job must be complete now._

Dreading the lecture that she was sure to get, Flashpaw pushed her way inside the Riverclan camp. Before she could get very far, a squealing ball of fur hurtled towards her and bowled her over onto the ground. Flashpaw squirmed, shock racing through her body, until she felt soft licks brushing through her fur. Loud purring filled her eardrums. Flashpaw looked up to see Mallowpaw frantically covering her in attention. She looked upset.

"Flashpaw, I was so worried about you!" Mallowpaw burst out. She drew back, but only slightly. Flashpaw used the opportunity to sit back up, facing her sister. "I'm so so sorry I snapped at you. I felt so bad afterwards! I was just so stressed, and-"

"No, no!" Flashpaw interrupted. "I'm sorry that I snapped at you. It was your apprentice ceremony! I should have been happy for you!"

"But I should have told you beforehand about my decision! I knew how much becoming warriors together meant to you and yet I said nothing," Mallowpaw looked anxiously at her paws.

Flashpaw shook her head and then leaned forward to cover Mallowpaw's face in affectionate licks. "It's okay. I know you had your reasons, and I forgive you. I'm just so happy you aren't mad at me."

"Mad at you?" Mallowpaw purred softly, relaxing under Flashpaw's touch. "How could I be mad at you? You're my little sister!"

Flashpaw let out a soft ' _mrrow_ ' and nuzzled into her sister. The two of them purred together for a long moment, enjoying the silence of each other's company.

A sharp voice interrupted them, drawing Flashpaw away from her sibling's soft fur.

"Flashpaw?! Where have you been?! Do you know how foolish it was to run off like that?! You are such a selfish little brat!"

As Flashpaw's blue eyes met Goldenface's green ones, Flashpaw felt her soul escape her body. She knew she was going to get a lecture for running off, but - Goldenface was so _mean_. Flashpaw felt suddenly upset, and she lowered her eyes back down to her paws to avoid Goldenface's harsh gaze.

Flashpaw opened her jaws to apologize to her stepmother when Mallowpaw leapt to her paws. "Hey, why don't you just back off?! Flashpaw has done nothing wrong. She got upset and needed a moment by herself. That doesn't make her selfish, or a brat! You're just jealous that she knows how to deal with her emotions without making a fool of herself like you do!"

Flashpaw was taken aback by how defensive Mallowpaw was of her, and apparently so was Goldenface. The older cat stammered for a second before her face contorted angrily. "And what do you know? You're just an apprentice. You haven't experienced the world - how do you know that your friend isn't selfish?"

"I may be an apprentice," Mallowpaw responded, conviction in her tone, "But I'm also a medicine cat. And medicine cats know way more than angry little warrior wanna-bes like you."

Goldenface gasped like she had been clawed. "Well, I- I- _hmph_! Apprentices! Thinking they know it all. You'll see." She hissed at Mallowpaw, her tone dark. "When you're older, you'll see that I was right!" She whipped around and stalked away, her tail lashing as she went.

Mallowpaw glared after her as she went, and Flashpaw took the moment to look admiringly at her sister. "Mallowpaw! That- that was amazing!"

Mallowpaw turned to look at Flashpaw. Surprise adorned her face. "You really think so?"

"Yeah." Flashpaw brushed her face against her sister's. Mallowpaw dipped her head to lick her chest fur, looking embarrassed and proud all in one moment.

"Thank you... that means a lot." Mallowpaw told her sister, and they locked eyes for a moment, love sparking in both their gazes. Then Flashpaw looked away as Gorgeleap bounded over to them and skidded to a halt in front of her, his expression somewhere between frantic and relieved.

"Flashpaw, how could you run off like that? You could have gotten killed!" Gorgeleap began to sniff her over. Flashpaw felt embarrassment heat up her paw pads as Mallowpaw shot her an amused glance.

"I promise that I'm alright," Flashpaw tried to insist, craning her neck away from Gorgeleap, who had begun to sniff at her ear. "I found my way back home, didn't I?"

"Yes, but..." Gorgeleap sat down on his haunches. He looked upset. "Your first time out of camp is supposed to be a moment you'll remember for the rest of your lifetime. I don't want that moment to be that you got upset, or that you got hurt somewhere in the forest. You need to be more careful."

"I'm usually more careful," Flashpaw admitted. "It was stupid to go running off like that. But I did it because I was upset, and once I calmed down I enjoyed the trip before coming home safely. Is that really so bad?"

Gorgeleap's eyes scanned over her anxiously. "I still think you should have Nightshade and Mallowpaw check you over for wounds, Flashpaw. I don't want anything to be bothering you on your first day."

Feeling a strike of pity for the worried tom (and a tad bit of guilt for making him feel that way), Flashpaw dipped her head in acknowledgement of his suggestion. "I can go right now, then."

"Good." Gorgeleap stood back up and half-turned to look at the fresh-kill pile, observing the plump prey that was currently sitting there. "Feel free to eat and sleep afterwards. You'll have a busy first day tomorrow."

Flashpaw felt excitement pumping through her blood, and she blinked fondly at Gorgeleap. "Okay."

"Since this was your first time misbehaving, I'm going to let you off the hook." Gorgeleap didn't look at her, but continued to observe the camp as he talked. "Just don't let it happen again. Okay?"

"Yes, Gorgeleap." Flashpaw looked at Mallowpaw. "Hey Mallowpaw, do you want to escort me to the medicine den?" She teased. Flashpaw decided that if they couldn't train together, she was going to tease her sister about her chosen path for the rest of her life.

Mallowpaw dragged her eyes from her sister to the medicine den. For a second, a flash of anxiety seemed to cross Mallowpaw's face. Flashpaw blinked. I hope she's okay. She hasn't seemed very excited about her new position.

Mallowpaw didn't give Flashpaw a lot of time to worry as she started towards the den, confidence in her step once more. "Yeah, sure. Let's get you checked out."

Flashpaw followed just behind her sister, ducking into the den after Mallowpaw did and emerging into the shaded area. Nightshade was in the back, sorting through different herbs with her paws. As Flashpaw entered the den, she turned her head towards them and called out a greeting.

"Mallowpaw! I see they found your sister," Nightshade rose to her paws and padded towards the two apprentices. She stopped a little ways off from Flashpaw and studied her fur as if already checking for wounds.

"Not really." Mallowpaw sat down stiffly on her haunches and looked around the den. She looked restless. "Flashpaw found her own way back to camp."

"Really?" Nightshade blinked her large purple eyes at Flashpaw. Flashpaw shifted on her paws, an anxious habit, but Nightshade moved on before she could reply. "That's a good thing. If Stonestar had sent out a search party, you would have been in a lot of trouble."

"I didn't mean to worry anyone." Flashpaw said defensively, and Nightshade twitched her ears with amusement. The medicine cat moved closer to her.

"I know, dear. But you still did, and that's all that matters." Nightshade turned her head around and beckoned to her apprentice with her tail. "Mallowpaw, I'm going to give you your first lesson."

Mallowpaw looked startled, her ears pricking and eyes widening. "Now?"

"Yes. It's never too early to learn something new." Nightshade turned her face back towards Flashpaw. "Sit perfectly still, okay?"

Once Flashpaw gave her a nod of understanding, Nightshade began to sift through her fur with a paw. "When checking for wounds, you have to be very thorough." She instructed. Flashpaw lifted up a paw as Nightshade checked her belly. "One important thing is to never forget to check the throat and belly areas. They're vulnerable, and if a blow is struck there, a cat could bleed out very quickly."

Flashpaw sat down her paw once Nightshade was done checking her fur. Nightshade moved on to her ears, and then her eyes. "Always make sure to check the ears, eyes, nose and mouth for any sign of sickness. You should know what the smell of sickness is, even if you haven't smelled it before - it'll smell sour, like crow-food."

"I've never smelt crow-food." Mallowpaw protested, frowning at her mentor. Nightshade merely shook her head in response as she backed up, leaving Flashpaw alone again.

"Trust me, you'll know it when you smell it. Repeat to me all the tips I just told you." Nightshade told her, standing in fromt of her new apprentice. Mallowpaw shifted her weight, looking anxious.

"Check the throat and belly for wounds, and check to make sure the ears, eyes, and mouth aren't blocked. If they smell sour they might be sick."

"Good." Nightshade purred approvingly and flicked her tail. "Anyway, Flashpaw is fine. Tired and hungry, maybe, but otherwise okay."

"I can't wait to get my jaws around a juicy carp," Flashpaw admitted and shifted on her paws. Tiredness had begun to make her bones ache, and her stomach growled at the prospect of food.

Nightshade must have heard it, because the old cat's ears twitched in amusement. "Go get some food and some rest." she turned to look at Mallowpaw. "You should stay here, however. I want you to check on the elders."

Mallowpaw looked discouraged. "Why?"

"The elders are most vulnerable to sickness and injury due to age. We must constantly look after them." Nightshade eyed her warily. Mallowpaw nodded and shot Flashpaw a glance that the two shared, Flashpaw's gaze full of amusement, Mallowpaw's full of exasperation.

Flicking her tail as a good-bye, Flashpaw pushed her way out of the medicine den and made her way over to the fresh-kill pile. The sun had started to set while she was in the medicine den - the camp was now completely covered in shadow. Plump prey was sitting on the fresh-kill pile, dropped off by the dusk hunting patrol.

Snatching up the carp Flashpaw had mentioned earlier, the young apprentice began to make her way over to the nursery to eat. She hesitated in her step, however, when she realized that today she wasn't going to be sleeping there - quickly, Flashpaw veered off to settle by the entrance to the apprentice's den, where Snowpaw was laying with a thrush between her paws, lightly picking feathers off to get to the meat below.

"Hey, Flashpaw!" Snowpaw greeted her and purred. Flashpaw's pelt warmed, and she dipped her head shyly to Snowpaw. As Flashpaw tucked into her fish, she thought about who all would be sharing her den with her.

First off, there was Snowpaw and her siblings, Goldpaw and Troutpaw. They were kits of the legendary Deathclaw, who had been injured so severely in a battle with Shadowclan that he had been forced to retire. Despite this, Deathclaw still wanted to serve his Clan, so he took on the duty of sitting with the kits in the nursery when their mother, Frecklespots, didn't want to nurse. Flashpaw also noted that Frecklespots and Lightfeather were littermates, which made Snowpaw and her litter Mallowpaw's kin.

Tundrapaw and Ripplepaw were a tad bit younger than Snowpaw's siblings, but were still elder apprentices regardless. They were born to Mistynose and Pebblefur. The two moms had been sure to raise their kits together, both of them residing in the nursery together after the two had been born.

The last apprentice, who was younger than the others, was named Fallowpaw. She had two lovely fathers - Riverstripe and Birchear - who had been sure to give her all the attention she needed. Flashpaw knew from experience that being an only child could make your parents more affectionate than others sometimes. Besides, Flashpaw liked Fallowpaw's dads; they had been constantly around back when Flashpaw was only a moon old, since Fallowpaw had been an elder kit of about four or five moons then. While Flashpaw and Fallowpaw hadn't gotten along much (potentially due to awkwardness), Fallowpaw's fathers had treated Flashpaw as part of the family, which made Flashpaw feel warm inside.

"It's going to be pretty crowded in there," Flashpaw told Snowpaw nervously after she had finished her fish, her eyes fixed anxiously on the den ahead. Despite the exhaustion dragging at her muscles, she was wary of big crowds and didn't feel eager to go inside with so many apprentices awaiting her presence.

Snowpaw licked her lips and sat up, her meal gone. "It isn't so bad." She encouraged and purred. "Troutpaw is on guard duty tonight, so there's one less to worry about for your first night in. Not to mention him, Goldpaw and I will be given our warrior names in just a few days, which will clear the den out for you and the others."

That was true. They had been talking it over with their mentors, who had agreed that their progress was going well enough to get them assessed. If they passed the assessment, they got to be warriors.

"I'll miss you, though." Flashpaw told her, feeling suddenly shy. Snowpaw purred in amusement and pushed her way into the apprentice's den; Flashpaw hesitated, then followed.

Inside, everyone was asleep except for Tundrapaw, who was sitting up and washing her fur. Flashpaw gazed around, nervously looking for a place to rest. Snowpaw nudged her towards a spot near the back, and Flashpaw picked her way through the cats to follow her.

Snowpaw settled down in a spot of carefully clawed up moss. "This is my nest," she told her denmate. "You can sleep beside me, if you want."

Flashpaw felt gratefulness warm her soul. "Thank you, Snowpaw. You're very kind."

Snowpaw nodded and settled down. Flashpaw gave herself a quick wash and then pawed her nest together; by the time she laid down, Snowpaw was fast asleep.

Flashpaw closed her eyes, exhaustion dragging her down into sleep as the warmth of her denmates surrounding her soothed her anxious thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! ive been busy with college applications since this is my senior year of high school  
> to make it up to you guys, this chapter is longer than the others have been!!! i hope you enjoy it :)  
>   
> also send me questions about this story and its characters on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/hawksbluevibes)!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashpaw wakes up in Starclan.

Flashpaw opened her eyes. The air around her felt hot, so hot that it was almost stifling, and for a moment it seemed that she forgot how to breathe. Her chest seemed to cry _"help!"_ as if she were drowning, yet there was no water around her to contribute to such a violent action. Only trees surrounded her, trees that were so high that they seemed to stretch their arms up above her for an eternity. The sky that could be seen above her was starless, blotched by a dark red tinge that had Flashpaw trembling all the way down to the ends of her claws. _Where was the moon? Where were her ancestors?_ What seemed to be the most terrifying was the reek of blood that seemed to hang in the air, as if someone had died here, their corpse never fully rotting, their spirit never truly wandering. For a moment Flashpaw wondered if she, too, were dead, but she knew that dead cats would never come here - never, ever, _ever_. She _refused_ to believe it to be so.

Flashpaw's delirious panic was interrupted by an enticing smell that wrapped itself around her like a comfort blanket, and before she could comprehend what was going on, warm white fur was pressing against her, and baby blue eyes were staring into hers, lustful and amused. The scent of this newfound creature seemed to smother her until the stench of the horrifying place around her was masked entirely by Him, and the purr that rumbled around her threatened to shake her to her core.

"Welcome to Starclan."

The breath that Flashpaw exhaled made her body tremble as she recognized the patchy fur, the soft eyes, and the smooth voice. It was the Starclan warrior from earlier, who had guided her on her way home. She flicked her eyes away from him, taking note of her surroundings in a more calm manner, and began to wonder why a Starclan warrior was in a place like this. This place felt utterly Wrong, devoid of all the comforts Flashpaw had ever come to know in her short lifespan, and yet the warrior before her seemed to not mind his environment in the slightest. _Perhaps_ , thought Flashpaw, _perhaps Starclan warriors tend to get used to this environment, after being around it for so long_. But if you asked Flashpaw how they managed to do that, she would tell you that she did not know how, for the forest seemed to suffocate all of her senses, threatening to expel her of every nice thing she had ever come to know.

"I saw you earlier," Flashpaw told the stranger her observation, her own eyes warmly blinking at him as they focused. The warrior purred again and touched his nose to her forehead, pulling away only after Flashpaw's fur began to get warm, her heart aching with his sweet smelling scent.

"I couldn't let an apprentice wander out all by herself," He teased her, his tail flicking along her pelt, brushing against her without a care in the world. "My name is Cloudstorm. I brought you here to make sure you were safe."

"I am safe, thanks to you." Flashpaw dipped her head thankfully. Without this warrior - Cloudstorm, he said his name was - Flashpaw may have never gotten home by herself. She let her eyes flick over his pelt, and was astonished to realize that, upon further inspection, his pelt was lined with a vast array of scars, as if he had gotten into a fight with a dozen warriors and lost all of them. Despite this, his fur was soft and quite luxorious, almost glowing despite the lack of stars in his pelt and the absence of the moon or sun in the surrounding forest above.

"And how is my safe apprentice doing in her Clan? I would hope they didn't punish you too severely for getting lost?" 

"They were disappointed, but..." Flashpaw sighed, "I guess it turned out alright." Her ear twitched as she remembered Mallowpaw's frantic worry, and Goldenface's mean words from the day prior.

"Something's on your mind," Cloudstorm observed, tilting his head to the side alluringly. "Tell me all about it."

Feeling oddly compelled to do so just by his mannerisms alone, Flashpaw fell apart at his paws, describing how her life felt like it was utterly and completely falling apart. She felt like she was shattering into a million pieces and would never repair. She described how her parents seemed to hate her and how her future was in ruin, the envisioned place in her Clan with her sister not coming true. Shyly she described how, despite her apprentice status, she did not feel worthy of being a member of Riverclan. It all came so naturally and so suddenly that Flashpaw wondered if she made the conscious decision to tell him or if he had somehow cast a spell on her that forced her mouth to move in a wonderful rhythm, clearing her mind of all the stress the young creature had been through thus far in her meager existence. Despite her whining, Cloudstorm didn't ridicule or belittle her; instead he kept his head tilted and watched, observing her like she was a delicate leaf fluttering in the wind. When she was done with her story, he nodded and mumbled, "Interesting," as if what she had said was some new piece of prey that he had just tasted for the first time and was attempting to relay the taste of such to someone of closest companionship. 

"I just feel like everything's so unstable right now." Flashpaw flicked her tail. "I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but it's so hard when nothing ever seems to go right." She looked up at him as if begging for advice. He merely twitched his whiskers, amusement in his eyes.

"Not everything is as unstable as it seems, little one." Cloudstorm told her with a purr. 

"But even you're so different and new to me," Flashpaw retorted. "After all, I've never seen a Starclan warrior. And how can I be sure you won't go away, after visiting me here and letting me talk your ears off?"

"How can you be sure that I will go away?" Cloudstorm shot back. "What if I promised to be a constant for you? To provide you with a sense of stability and comfort when everything gets to be too much. I can be your companion in your time of darkness, someone who can teach you as much as you need to know about anything you may need to know. We will be each others supporters."

The offer was tempting, and comfortable. In truth, Flashpaw feared change. She was sure that if too much change happened, it would strike her down. This would provide her with something unchanging, in a time of her life where everything seemed to be differentiating itself from what it had once been. In only a heartbeat, Flashpaw replied back with, "That would be nice, if you would allow it to be so."

Cloudstorm's purr was filled with delight. The older warrior pulled away from her, looking at one of the infinitely looming trees around them. He walked around the tree and when he returned to her eyesight he was carrying a ball of moss that he dropped at her paws. Flashpaw eyed it, feeling it scream at her to play with it.

"How about one last game to celebrate your loss of kithood?" Cloudstorm offered. "Tomorrow will be a big day for you, new apprentice."

Flashpaw twitched her whiskers and obliged the offer, willing to do anything to put her worries behind her.

\- - -

A paw prodded her in the side the next morning, and Flashpaw jolted her head up with a twitch of her whiskers. Gorgeleap was looming over her, only a few whiskers away, his green eyes glancing over her curiously as if she had been talking in her sleep.

"You need to get ready," he told her. "You're going on a tour of the territory today. It'll be tiring." 

A prickle of longing rushed through her body. _I wish Cloudstorm could come with me_ , she thought. Pushing herself to her paws, she nodded at her mentor and stretched her head to begin washing. Exhaustion was already weighing down on her body, and she found that she wasn't looking forward to the journey ahead of her.

As Gorgeleap left, Flashpaw took note that it was nearly sun-high; the only apprentice left in the den was Troutpaw, who seemed to be resting after a long night of watching over the camp. Snowpaw's nest was cold next to Flashpaw's own, and after a soft sigh, Flashpaw got to her paws and stretched luxouriously before padding into the main clearing.

The camp was busy this morning as warriors grouped together to leave for patrol. Flashpaw noticed that most of them had already gotten their orders, and she figured Gorgeleap must have woken her after organizing the day's schedule. Scanning the camp, she noticed her mentor sitting between Frecklespots and Heavyclaw. He was talking to them rapidly, his eyes flashing. They nodded, looking urgent, and turned to head out of camp together.

Flashpaw's ear twitched as she headed towards her mentor. "What was that about?" She asked Gorgeleap directly. The tom turned towards her and greeted her with a warm dip of his head.

"A fox had been scented on our land." Gorgeleap told her. "Stonestar wanted some cats to track it. If it gets too close to the camp, then we'll have to do something as soon as we possibly can."

"Ah." Flashpaw murmured, turning her head to look at where Frecklespots' tail was disappearing through the camp's entrance. "I see." _If Cloudstorm were here, he'd deal with that fox without a problem..._

"Flashpaw? Are you listening?" Gorgeleap's mew snapped her out of her dazed thoughts.

"Huh? What were you saying?" She mewed, shifting on her paws and feeling guilty. _Cloudstorm isn't here right now. You need to concentrate on your training._

"I asked you if you knew how to swim yet." Gorgeleap sat down and drew a paw over his face. "Some mothers prefer their mentors to teach their young how to swim."

"Really?" Flashpaw felt surprised. "I thought it was customary for kits to learn in the nursery?"

"Normally it is, but sometimes they can't." Gorgeleap lowered his paw and twitched his whiskers. "I'm assuming by your reaction that you know how to swim."

Flashpaw felt embarrassed. "Uh... yeah, I know how to swim."

"I figured so." Gorgeleap got to his paws and started towards the camp entrance. "Come on."

Flashpaw felt only brief excitement at being able to tour the territory before it was swept away by frustration. She was really upset Cloudstorm couldn't join them. _But maybe he can show himself tonight?_ Flashpaw quickened her pace to catch up with Gorgeleap once they were out of the camp. _He's shown up in the living world, too. Would he do that for me again? We could tour together..._

"Flashpaw!" Gorgeleap screeched and before Flashpaw knew what he was doing, her mentor was dragging her backward by the scruff. Startled, Flashpaw stumbled as she tried to catch her balance, her ear twitching.

"Wh-what?! What is it?" Flashpaw asked frantically and looked around. She suddenly realized where she was, her heart skipping a beat as she noticed her paws had been only moments away from stumbling into a deep chasm.

Gorgeleap took in a deep breath, his fur starting to lay flat where he had been startled. "Pay attention when you're walking in the forest." He told her. "Little things like that can lead to you getting hurt, or worse..." His voice trembled like he didn't want to think of anything worse. Flashpaw looked at him with wide eyes, unsure what to say.

After an awkward moment of silence, he continued, this time much more calm. "This is the gorge. It stretches along our boundary with Windclan, and eventually comes up to form the river." He started to walk along the gorge, keeping back by a few paces. "Thunderclan owns the land on the opposite side of the river, after it stretches up to meet us."

"I think..." Flashpaw frowned and carefully followed her mentor. "I think I got lost around the Thunderclan border... it was near a clearing..."

"That sounds like the area near Sunningrocks." He flashed her a look and frowned. "You shouldn't have run off like that..."

Flashpaw looked away, frustrated and guilt-ridden. _I was upset!_ She screamed in her mind, but she knew it wouldn't make much difference if she tried to say it out loud.

As the tour progressed, Flashpaw's attention continued to drift. All she could think about was Cloudstorm's warm fur pressed against her own. Longing filled her body until she positively ached; not to mention that by the end of her trip, she was extremely tired. Wariness made her paws hurt. When Gorgeleap said it was time to go back to camp, Flashpaw felt as if she had been gifted the best present in the entire world. Avoiding her denmates, she took a piece of prey off the fresh-kill pile and settled down by the apprentice's den to eat. She was vaguely aware of her own stomach aching with hunger, yet the food she ate felt unsatisfying and tasteless. Her thoughts were on one individual: Cloudstorm. _Cloudstorm, Cloudstorm, Clou..._

"Flashpaw, how was your first day as an apprentice?"

The voice startled her out of her thoughts until she realized that she was looking up at Mallowpaw, who was standing in front of her. "Um, hi. Uh- oh! My- my day was good. What about yours?"

Mallowpaw's ear twitched, worry showing in her gaze. "Are you sure you're alright? You seem distracted."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just- just tired." Flashpaw sat up and started to bury the remainder of her fresh-kill.

"Well... alright." Mallowpaw shifted on her paws. "I spent the whole day looking after the elders. It was gross! You're so lucky to be touring the territory already, Flashpaw..."

Flashpaw glanced behind Mallowpaw, watching Nightshade as she talked to Snowpaw. The camp was beginning to settle down for the night, and with the last rays of dawn, Flashpaw was beginning to feel restless. This conversation was hard to focus on for her, when all she wanted was to curl into Cloudstorm's warm fur and tell him how much she missed him.

"Flashpaw? Are you listening?" 

Flashpaw realized that Mallowpaw had stopped talking a few moments ago, and was now staring at her in worry. Realizing this was a way to get out of the conversation, Flashpaw blinked warmly at her sister.

"Ah... yeah, I was. I'm really sorry, Mallowpaw, I'm just tired. Do you mind if I head off?" Flashpaw dipped her head, pretending to be embarrassed by the question.

Mallowpaw's gaze softened and she touched her nose to Flashpaw's. "Of course. I know you must have walked a lot today, and it must have been hard to get used to after yesterday and..." Mallowpaw blinked. "And you should rest. Go ahead. We can talk tomorrow."

Flashpaw purred softly and rubbed her cheek against Mallowpaw's. She stood and stretched her limbs before pushing into the apprentice's den, heading over to her nest. Flashpaw felt a little thankful that Snowpaw was too busy to be in her nest right now, as she didn't want to waste any more time with small talk. Instead, she settled down and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come.

\- - -

Her eyes adjusted to the gloomy red of Starclan as she began to sit up, stretching out her muscles and giving a little thrill of excitement. _I woke up here,_ she thought, and looked around, wondering where exactly Cloudstorm was.

The silver warrior was standing a little ways off, his face angled up to look at the blood-red sky. He seemed to be contemplating something, though Flashpaw could not say for certain what it was. Fueled by the intensity of her emotions - excitement at seeing him again, relief that he showed up again as promised - Flashpaw launched herself forward, bounding across the small clearing and hitting his side with a thrill, purring as loud as she could. Cloudstorm let a surprised _'mrrow'_ slip out of his mouth before laughing, battering her gently with his paws.

"Flashpaw! You startled me..." He told her, and Flashpaw paused from their playfighting to stare down at him. Uneasiness passed over her - how'd he know her name? _Oh yeah_ , she thought. _He's a Starclan warrior._

"I'm sorry! I've just missed you so much." Flashpaw told him, her voice very genuine as she twitched her ear and brushed her muzzle against his. He purred back at her until they were curled around each other's limbs, smothered in each other's fur, engulfed in one another's scent.

"You know..." Flashpaw closed her eyes. She could feel her fur heating up, wondering if she really wanted to say this out loud. Already having said the first two words, she knew she had to finish it. "You know, I... I never thought you'd like, um, actually show up. To be honest."

She could practically feel Cloudstorm's gaze on her, and when she opened her eyes again, she realized she was right to assume he had been staring. The warrior was looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and amusement, as if he could hardly believe why she would think so.

"It's just! We just met, you know? I didn't know what to expect, so..."

"Don't worry," he purred in her ear and touched his nose to her cheek. She breathed in his sweet scent, warm with embarrassment. "I'd never leave you. Not after a promise that seemed to mean so much to you."

 _He really cares about me._ "You're so sweet..." She said softly, her gaze meeting his under the dark sky of the endless forest.

Cloudstorm looked away from her after a while, getting to his paws. "Would you like me to show you around Starclan?" He asked her, suddenly changing gears from what they had been doing prior. 

Flashpaw blinked gratefully at him, nodding her head and getting to her paws. She felt safe with this cat, and felt as if she could trust him with her life. Maybe she had finally found herself a true friend to rely on. 

_One that'll never abandon me. One that'll never betray me to walk another path. Cloudstorm is the only one I need._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO DISAPPEARED FOR TWO MONTHS DUE TO EXAM SEASON ASLKFNAF  
> here's a Christmas update !!!!!! what do you guys think of Cloudstorm ???? comments appreciated hehe


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloudstorm does something unexpected. Flashpaw and Mallowpaw have a fight.

Flashpaw's eyes opened in the warm light of the apprentice's den. She raised her head as her eyes adjusted, letting her gaze travel around the den to take it in. Snowpaw's nest was occupied beside her, and for a moment Flashpaw observed her soft white flank as it rose and fell with her sleeping breaths. The scent of Cloudstorm was still in Flashpaw's nostrils, but as she focused on the apprentice beside her, it began to fade.

 

With a sigh Flashpaw sat up and stretched her tired muscles. Over the past few days, Flashpaw had gotten more and more exhausted, as if she hadn't been sleeping at night. She had guessed it was due to her becoming an apprentice - Gorgeleap had kept her busy this week. She had gone out on two dawn patrols, participated in battle training sessions with some of the older apprentices, and had began to learn how to hunt. While it had been exciting, and new, Flashpaw was also aware that it was extremely straining - she felt as though she needed a day off.

 

Flashpaw ran her tongue over her pelt a couple of times, listening to the rasping of Snowpaw's gentle snores beside her, and then got to her paws to push out of the den. As she made her way into the bright greenleaf sunlight, her exhaustion melted into excitement, her tail raising in the air to convey how she was currently feeling.

 

"Good morning, Flashpaw," came a voice beside her, and Flashpaw turned around to see Troutpaw chewing on a fishbone. His sleek silver fur had been neatly groomed, and for a moment Flashpaw took the chance to admire him. He was extremely handsome, which was to be expected - he was related to Snowpaw, being her brother, and their family line was extremely gorgeous. He was always determined and confident, as if nothing could ever get under his fur. It made Flashpaw swoon whenever he greeted her. Despite the small crush Flashpaw had on him, she knew she would never have a chance with him - it was well known that Troutpaw liked other toms exclusively.

 

"Good morning." Flashpaw glanced towards the fresh-kill pile. "Is there anything left for me?"

 

"I think there was a vole earlier, if no one's gotten to it." Troutpaw flicked his ear.

 

Flashpaw walked over to the fresh-kill pile and saw the vole in question. She picked it up delicately with her teeth. The tiny body was still warm, and Flashpaw was determined not to waste any of its juices. She walked over to settle beside Troutpaw as the tom crunched on his bone, and began to eat.

 

As she ate, her eyes drifted around the clearing until they landed on Blizzardheart lounging by the nursery. Flashpaw had shared her final moon as a kit in the nursery with her, and wasn't surprised to find that her belly looked swollen. She was expecting any day now, and Flashpaw could practically feel the energy buzzing off of Gorgeleap's pelt every time they went out. She knew he would be a great father.

 

Once Flashpaw had gulped down the last of her vole and mewed a gentle goodbye to Troutpaw, she trotted across the clearing until she stopped in front of Blizzardheart. "Good morning, Blizzardheart."

 

Blizzardheart opened her eyes and slowly rolled over from where she had been sunbathing. The kind queen purred loudly at Flashpaw once she saw who it was. "Good morning. Is there anything I can do for you?"

 

"Yes, actually. I was wondering if you knew where Gorgeleap was?" Flashpaw asked her. "He didn't tell me where he would be today."

 

Blizzardheart looked towards the entrance of the camp. "I believe he went out with the dawn patrol this morning. He won't be back until later." She looked at Flashpaw. "In the meantime, shouldn't you be getting ready for the Gathering?"

 

Shock passed across Flashpaw's face. She had been so busy recently that she had forgotten she had been chosen for such an important event. "I completely forgot I was going," she admitted, and Blizzardheart's whiskers twitched in amusement.

 

"It looks like you may have the day off." Blizzardheart touched her nose to Flashpaw's forehead. "Why don't you rest? Tonight will be busy enough for you."

 

"Thanks, Blizzardheart." Flashpaw told the queen and headed back towards the apprentice's den. Before she could get there, however, her paws slowed and she paused, staring at the medicine cat den.

 

For the past few days, Flashpaw had been trying to talk to her sister. It had been difficult, as both of them had stayed busy after their first day. Flashpaw felt a pang of regret for blowing Mallowpaw off that day - she missed her now, and missed her dearly, in a way that seemed to ache throughout her entire body.

 

Turning her paws towards the medicine den, Flashpaw made up her mind that she'd try and find her now. With the day off, she knew she'd be able to tell Mallowpaw the latest news in her little life eventually - that she now had a best friend from Starclan who was named Cloudstorm.

 

 _Maybe Mallowpaw could fill me in on some questions I have about Starclan, too._ It wasn't like Cloudstorm was hiding something from her, but... well, she knew he didn't really like talking about Starclan all that much. And Mallowpaw was a medicine cat in training - she had to know _something_ about what Starclan looked like, right?

 

As her paws hit the floor of the medicine cat den, Flashpaw rose her face to sniff the air. Scents lined the floor, but both Mallowpaw and Nightshade's scents were stale.

 

"Mallowpaw?" Flashpaw called into the den. She seemed to be drawn into the dark area as her eyes adjusted; despite knowing that her sister wasn't there, she had a compelling desire to speak what was on her mind. Her thoughts were racing around in her head and making her jittery - if she didn't say them out loud, she may never know peace.

 

"I had something exciting to tell you," Flashpaw walked past a nest made of feather-soft moss, pausing briefly to inspect it. The medicine cats had a tidy set-up here, and for a moment Flashpaw wondered what it would have been like had her paws been drawn towards a different path. A lot of cats had speculated that she'd become a medicine cat when she was a kit due to the time she spent around Nightshade. What would her life had been like had she taken that opportunity for herself?

 

Shaking off the curious thoughts, Flashpaw turned and headed deeper into the den, letting the sharp smell of herbs guide her paws. "You know how the other day, we had our big fight?... I know it might be wrong to mention it again so soon, but like," Flashpaw hesitated briefly. "Well, I got lost when I ran out of camp. And I met this warrior."

 

Flashpaw pushed her way into the herb store at the back of the den and looked over the sharp-smelling leaves. She briefly paused in her story to sniff each of them, making sure to leave them untouched. Flashpaw gazed over the herbs for a moment and then turned her head towards the den entrance.

 

"He told me that he was a Starclan warrior, and led me back home. Crazy, right? Well... he started visiting me in my dreams. He told me his name is Cloudstorm, and we've been talking a lot." Flashpaw started to push back out of the herb store. "He makes me really happy, Mallowpaw, I think you'd really-"

 

Flashpaw was cut off as a body slammed against her side. Pain flooded over her as claws that were sharp as razors dug into her skin. Her face was pressed into the ground as she released a squeal of pain.

 

"Don't you ever talk about us!" A voice hissed in her ear, and Flashpaw recognized the tone and the scent. _Cloudstorm._ "Do you realize what living cats would do to you if you told them about our meetings?"

 

Flashpaw cried out again as Cloudstorm dug his claws in deeper. Everything hurt. Fear pierced her heart and made her tremble as she wondered what exactly the Clan would ever do to her to cause Cloudstorm's intense rage.

 

Very suddenly, as if he had never attacked her at all, Cloudstorm began to relax. His claws left her as he got off the small apprentice and in their place came shock and panic as Flashpaw struggled to control her breathing.

Flashpaw hesitantly eased her head off the ground, her entire body trembling. "Clo-Cloudstorm, I'm-"

 

"Hush, little one." Cloudstorm murmured against her ear. His scent was suddenly sweeter, his touch suddenly softer as he began to wash her behind her ears, trying to get her fur to lay flat where it had risen on it's hackles. "Everything will be alright, as long as you do exactly what I've asked of you. Do you understand, Flashpaw?"

 

Flashpaw shakily nodded, and Cloudstorm purred softly in response. His eyes were glowing with adoration as he pressed his side against hers. For a brief moment, her world was full of him. He leaned forward and rubbed their cheeks together, his breath touching her face. "I love you, Flashpaw..."

 

Before Flashpaw could respond, a movement behind Cloudstorm caused him to vanish. Flashpaw rose to her paws, her body still trembling as the remainder of Cloudstorm's scent caught in her nose. Shock was pulsing through her as she thought of Cloudstorm's parting words. _He loves me?_ Before she could put in any more thought, she heard a sharp gasp and Mallowpaw was pressing against her, smelling faintly of thyme.

 

"Flashpaw? What are you doing here?" Mallowpaw looked her over and her eyes widened. "Great Starclan, you're bleeding!"

 

"I-I'm fine," Flashpaw shuffled her paws, nervous, and looked towards the entrance. She caught where the thyme scent had been coming from; Mallowpaw had dropped a bundle on the floor on her way in. _She must have been out collecting herbs,_ Flashpaw thought.

 

"This- this looks like a claw wound? Flashpaw, have you been in a fight?" Mallowpaw was frowning at her and Flashpaw cringed away from her as a reaction. _I can't tell her what happened! Cloudstorm would be so angry!_

 

"N-no! No no no. I don't, uhm, know how I got this, yeah." Flashpaw's voice was trembling. Mallowpaw stared at her for a good moment and then turned towards her herb store. She doesn't believe me. Panic settled in the pit of her stomach as she wondered if Mallowpaw was angry at her or not. _I need to convince Mallowpaw that I'm okay._

 

Mallowpaw came out of the herb store with a few leaves and some cobwebs. She motioned for Flashpaw to sit, and Flashpaw did what she was told. The slow motion caused her to wince, and she felt a trickle of blood run down her fur. _Did Cloudstorm really hurt me this badly?_

 

A numb feeling had started to spread through her body as Mallowpaw's careful paws parted her fur to get a good look. Flashpaw could hear her shuffling around behind her back. She turned her head briefly to get a good look at her right as Mallowpaw picked up a leaf with her mouth and began to chew.

 

"Mallowpaw," Flashpaw began, "I'm okay. I promise I am, I mean I know I have this but I really don't know h-how I got it, I promise, okay? I'm fine."

 

Mallowpaw chewed in silence as Flashpaw talked, and then licked the juices calmly into her cut. Flashpaw hissed with pain and flinched, but forced herself not to move away. She knew Mallowpaw was just doing her job... as a medicine cat. _Great Starclan, she really is a medicine cat now, isn't she?_

 

Mallowpaw spit out the leaf she had been chewing and wove cobwebs around her paw from a bundle she had placed on the ground previously. "Flashpaw, I know you're not fine. And I know you know how you got this stupid cut. You're injured, okay? Cats don't just get accidentally clawed by other cats. You're lying to me."

 

"I'm-" Flashpaw began, but Mallowpaw cut her off as she started to press her paw, covered in cobwebs, against Flashpaw's now-clean wound. Flashpaw whimpered.

 

"I understand that you're probably scared right now, and that's okay. But if I don't know who did this, I can't help you. You need to tell me."

 

Flashpaw didn't answer as Mallowpaw removed her paw. The medicine cat apprentice started to clean up, moving the bundle of cobwebs back into her herb storage and kicking dirt over the remains of the now-used herb. Meanwhile, Flashpaw's head swirled with pain and fear and guilt, so much guilt that she positively ached with it. She wanted to tell Mallowpaw, but thinking about Cloudstorm's fierce gaze, and his soothing scent...

 

"I can't tell you any of that." Flashpaw finally said and turned towards her sister. Her entire body was trembling as Mallowpaw's sharp gaze looked at her. Judgement appeared in her eyes and Flashpaw could feel her anxiety swelling with each breath she took.

 

"You have to promise me you won't tell anyone, Mallowpaw. You don't understand how big this is, this is like," Mallowpaw took a concerned step towards her as Flashpaw continued to shake, but Flashpaw sidestepped her and started to pace. "This is like my entire _life_ , okay? If you tell someone, they'll be worried and then they'll tell someone and that person will be worried and the cycle will continue on until I'm looked down upon as the Clan's _kit._ I'm _not_ a kit anymore."

 

"I didn't say any of that!" Mallowpaw's voice was angry, but mostly anxious. Flashpaw could feel more than hear her worry, and it pained Flashpaw to not be able to say anything to her. "I just need you to tell me who did this to you."

 

"No." Flashpaw whipped around to look at her. "I can't! Can't you see that?"

 

There must have been something in Flashpaw's expression, because Mallowpaw's face softened and her tail drooped. She looked utterly dejected, and it made Flashpaw's heart clench. "Flashpaw, I only want what's best for you. If you're in danger, then I want to at least support you... I don't ever want you to go through something alone."

 

"I know. I know you care about me, Mallowpaw, but I can't." Flashpaw whispered. "I can't tell you who did it, I can't tell you anything about what happened. You have to drop it."

 

Pain flashed in Mallowpaw's eyes, and she stepped forward to press her cheek against her sister's. "Surely you see that I can't simply drop it?"

 

"I know. I know it's hard for you, I know you're worried." Flashpaw's voice was trembling. She was suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. All of this was emotionally draining, and she suddenly wanted to sink down into sleep and never wake up.

 

Mallowpaw shared the silence with her sister, their breath mingling together. Flashpaw started to calm down, her eyes closing as she pressed into her sister's fur. Mallowpaw's scent soothed her naturally. They were kits again in the privacy of this medicine den, with Mallowpaw comforting Flashpaw about her parents, and Flashpaw hiding in her fur like Mallowpaw was a lifeline. She tried not to let the guilt gnawing at her ruin the moment.

 

"...okay." Mallowpaw finally agreed, tilting her head to look at Flashpaw. Flashpaw released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as Mallowpaw continued. "I won't tell anyone else, and I won't pry. But... if this happens again, Flashpaw, you have to tell me, okay? I won't ask you who did it or anything, but I don't want you going through anything alone."

 

Affection for her sister made Flashpaw's fur heat up, and she let a relieved purr rumble through her chest as she rubbed her face against Mallowpaw's. "Thank you... thank you so much, Mallowpaw. I promise I'll come to you if I need anything, okay? Don't worry."

 

"I'm always going to worry, Flashpaw. You're my sister." Mallowpaw said gently, her own soft purr joining Flashpaw's. Flashpaw shifted beneath Mallowpaw's gaze and absolutely radiated joy. She was so glad she had her sister, and that her sister understood what she had to do.

 

"Are you going to tonight's Gathering?" Flashpaw asked her. Suddenly, the thought of going without her sister felt overwhelming.

 

"I am." Mallowpaw frowned. "You should rest your injury before tonight. You'll need all the energy you can get."

 

Flashpaw felt her fur heat up with embarassment. She shifted her weight from one paw to another. "You promise you won't tell anyone about the injury? My fur hides it pretty well as long as you take the dressings off."

 

Mallowpaw looked alarmed at the suggestion, and then slowly nodded as if she realized arguing would only further escalate their previous conflict. "Okay, just... please be careful, okay Flashpaw? If you were to re-open the wound, or get hurt again..."

 

"Don't worry about it." Flashpaw slowly pulled away from Mallowpaw. She stood up fully and winced when the movement disturbed her shoulder. "I'm just glad you'll be going with me. I'd hate to go to our first Gathering alone."

 

Mallowpaw softened her gaze. "I love you so much, Flashpaw. You're a great sister."

 

Flashpaw felt her paws tingle with embarassment. She opened her mouth to respond, but her words were cut off with a huge yawn. Mallowpaw let out a ' _mrrow_ ' of amusement. "Go back to your den and get some rest, stupid! You're going to fall asleep on your paws."

 

"I am not!" Flashpaw whined and her whiskers twitched in amusement. She started walking towards the den entrance, carefully experimenting with putting weight on her injured forepaw. The pain wasn't too bad. "I'll see you later, Mallowpaw."

 

Mallowpaw mewed a goodbye to her sister as Flashpaw pushed her way out of the medicine den, heading towards her nest for a quick nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new years! here's the first chapter of 2020 uwu! comments always appreciated !!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashpaw and Cloudstorm talk. Flashpaw has her first Gathering.

No matter how many times Flashpaw visited Starclan, it still made her uneasy when she woke up to see the sharp, black tree trunks stretching their branches towards a dark red sky. The blood-scent that greeted her caused her to lurch to her paws with a start until she recognized where she was and forced herself to relax. This string of actions always proved difficult to her; with no stars above, the hot air boxed her in until it was difficult to breathe. The only thing that made the expierence feel more real to her this time around was the sharp pain in her shoulder as her sudden movements agitated her fresh wound from the day prior.

"Welcome back, Flashpaw." A silky purr called out to her. Flashpaw whipped around, startled, to see Cloudstorm. Sitting with his paws on the roots of the great black oak tree, Cloudstorm was washed in velvet shadow. His sharp blue gaze was focused on her, and for the first time in her life Flashpaw noticed how much taller he was than her. He looked expressionless except for the dim twinkle of some unknown emotion in his eyes. Flashpaw shivered, shaken at how much different he looked tonight, compared to her visits before.

"Cloudstorm..." She greeted him. His gaze continued to bore into her, and Flashpaw took a deep, shaky breath. She was uneasy, bordering along scared. Flashpaw hadn't prepared what she needed to say to him; she merely expected to take a nap before her trip to the Gathering. _Perhaps that was ignorant of me... he's been appearing in my dreams quite frequently, after all._

Feeling the need to hide her conflicting emotions, Flashpaw rose her head and planted her paws firmly on the ground in a show of false confidence. "Today, you attacked me." She declared, letting her gaze meet his. Anger flashed in his eyes, but he didn't say anything. "And then you said," her voice trembled briefly against her will, "that you loved me."

"I did." Cloudstorm cut her off. "I still do love you. Do you have a problem with that?"

A brief flash of panic came and went underneath her fur with minimal reaction. She refused to back down from where she stood, refused to let him take over this conversation. "Yes, I do. You attacked me. Cats who love other cats shouldn't attack one another. I don't understand what's gotten into you, but I don't like it."

Cloudstorm was silent; and then he rose to his paws and gracefully stepped off the root he had been perched upon. Flashpaw could feel her tail trembling as he wove himself around her, his fur brushing her own. 

"Flashpaw..." He began, his voice smooth and logical. "Don't you know that I only want what is best for you? I am your companion, your friend, and I want to be your mate. I promised you that I'd be there for you, so why would I let you endanger yourself by allowing your little secret to slip? That wouldn't be very friendly of me, would it?"

Flashpaw shuffled her paws in front of her. She didn't want to admit it, but he made sense. Swallowing hard, Flashpaw said, "N-no, it wouldn't be."

"Then why are you angry at me, little one? You got hurt, I understand, but it was an accident. It was to protect you from the pain you would have went through if your Clan had found out about us." Cloudstorm's tail slid over her back until she was melting into him, her worries sliding off of her fur as his scent engulfed her.

"Clan cats don't take kindly to things they don't understand." Cloudstorm murmured. "But I'm no longer a Clan cat. I'm a Starclan warrior, outside the realm of selfish Clan bonds, and I can be there for you - if you'd allow me to. You just have to follow my command. Do you understand what I'm saying, Flashpaw?"

There was a brief moment where his eyes met hers that caused Flashpaw's heart to skip a beat. Her body ached with longing for this relationship. She missed the emotional intimacy that came with a close friendship. Her trust in Mallowpaw had been slightly shaken. Something in her brain told her that she needed to be careful with this. Cloudstorm was different than Mallowpaw, in every aspect. And he was offering her... more. More than she could ever give Flashpaw. 

In the silence that stretched between them, Flashpaw considered her options. She could walk away, and go back to her shaky relationship with her sister, to her inability to bond with anyone else. Or...

Or she could stay.

"Yes. I... I understand completely, Cloudstorm." Flashpaw murmured under her breath, her voice shaking with thinly veiled admiration. "And I feel the same way. I'd... I'd love to be your mate."

Something in his eyes softened and he wrapped around her with a gentle purr. Happiness radiated off of him, and Flashpaw's body ached. 

She wanted this. She _did_. And yet, doubt pulsed at the back of her mind. Was she ready for this? Was it right to be in a relationship so young? Could she handle being in a secret relationship, knowing she would never be able to tell anyone? And... and could she handle it, if Cloudstorm had another burst of rage again?... 

_Surely he wouldn't hurt me. Right?_

"Flashpaw, wake up!"

Flashpaw's head jerked up as she found herself being vigorously shaken. Gorgeleap was standing over her, his eyes glinting from the light flooding in through the entrance to the dark den.

"Stonestar is almost ready to go." 

Flashpaw scrambled to her paws and hurried to follow Gorgeleap out of the apprentice's den. Stonestar loomed on the highrock as he watched his Clan gather beneath him, preparing to leave for the midnight Gathering. White light framed his face from the full moon above, and Flashpaw took a moment to herself to admire the old leader looking down on them.

Turning away, Flashpaw glanced around the clearing, curious about which apprentices had been chosen. Snowpaw was there, as well as a younger apprentice named Ripplepaw. The two were good choices in Flashpaw's eyes, but they weren't who she wanted to see today. Nerves ran throughout her body at the prospect of a new expierence, and Flashpaw's eyes scanned the clearing, attempting to pick out one cat in particular - Mallowpaw.

Flashpaw spotted her sister sitting beside Nightshade with her tail wrapped neatly around her paws, staring up at Stonestar expectedly as if she had not a care in the world. It was one thing she had always admired about her; she hardly ever got nervous. _I wonder if, one day, I'll be able to stay as calm and collected as her._

Meowing a soft farewell to Gorgeleap, she parted from him and skirted the edge of the clearing before drawing to a stop in front of her sister. Mallowpaw turned her gaze from their leader to Flashpaw, her eyes lighting up with emotions. One of them was worry, and Flashpaw knew that Mallowpaw was sharing the memory of Cloudstorm's claws in her shoulder from the morning prior.

"Do you mind if Mallowpaw walks with me?" Flashpaw asked, turning her eyes away from Mallowpaw's gaze to look up at Nightshade. The medicine cat in question gave them a brief glance over and flicked her tail in acknowledgement, looking amused.

"Of course I don't mind. This is your first Gathering; I'm not surprised that you want to spend it with your sister." 

Flashpaw dipped her head to the older medicine cat, warmth spreading through her chest. "Thank you, Nightshade. I promise we won't be too far from you if you need Mallowpaw for anything."

"As long as you don't stray too far from the group once we get going." Nightshade gave them the tiniest of nods. "Now go on."

Mallowpaw got up, and together the two sisters walked over to a shady spot closer to the fresh-kill pile. Flashpaw's stomach growled, but she knew she didn't have time to eat; she would have to do so later.

"How's your injury?" Mallowpaw asked in a low murmur, sitting Flashpaw down and raising her paws to part the fur in Flashpaw's shoulder.

"It's a little sore, but it doesn't hurt as bad as it did." Flashpaw replied.

"Good." Mallowpaw started to peel away the old medicine she had applied, rolling it into a ball and kicking it under the camp wall. All was done under the shadow of the camp wall, and Flashpaw briefly thanked StarClan that their camp could be so well-sheltered from the bright light of the full moon. 

"I'll stay by you during the Gathering to make sure it doesn't re-open." Mallowpaw licked her fur and then settled down beside her, facing her sister. "Not to mention... it's our first Gathering! I wouldn't miss being beside you for the world."

Flashpaw rested a soft gaze on her sister as she started to purr. Before she could reply, however, Stonestar lept down from the Highrock. Raising his head, he yowled, "To me, RiverClan!"

Together her Clanmates rose to their paws and pushed out of the camp, as fluid water running down a stream. Flashpaw quickly joined them, and with Mallowpaw by her side, she was able to follow in her Clanmate's pawsteps through the forest beyond their camp. The moon shone on the forest floor, making the path clear except for the brief flitting of shadows on cat fur as they passed under trees together.

Stonestar took them over the gorge by using the Twoleg bridge. The drop below down to the river was large, so much so that Flashpaw felt almost afraid as she walked across. Once her paws were safely on the other side, she continued to follow the river until they reached their destination.

_Fourtrees_. The trees themselves were even bigger in person, and Flashpaw looked up at them with awe as her leader paused at the top of the slope, giving each cat a brief moment to catch their breath. Creeping closer to the edge with her sister close behind, Flashpaw peered down into the clearing below, curiosity and excitement pricking at her fur.

From the smell of it, only SkyClan was yet to show. The smell of the other three Clans was strong, only tolerable by the scent of her Clanmates pressing in around her on the ridge in which they stood.

"Do you see any of the leaders?" Mallowpaw whispered to her. Flashpaw let her eyes roam over the bodies of the cats below. It was nearly overwhelming, but she was able to focus her gaze on the large stone in the middle of the clearing. Two cats stood atop it, both jet black. The larger of the two had white ears that looked like snowy mountain peaks. His piercing yellow eyes looked down on them all as if he were judging them from afar.

"There's two cats on the highrock." Flashpaw told her sister in a low voice. Mallowpaw followed her gaze curiously, and then widened her eyes in wonder as she studied them.

"Only two Clans have black-furred leaders." Mallowpaw murmured. "ThunderClan and ShadowClan."

_Then those must be the ThunderClan and ShadowClan leaders - Jaggedstar and Marshstar._ Jaggedstar was rumoured to be a ruthless leader bordering on cruel, but Marshstar was said to be kind and fair. Flashpaw decided the cat with the white-tipped ears must be Jaggedstar, with a gaze that cold.

"Do you see Honeystar anywhere?" Flashpaw murmured to her sister. The leader of WindClan didn't seem to be near the great rock. Flashpaw was bewildered until Mallowpaw nudged her gently with a paw and pointed her towards one of the four trees, where an orange she-cat with beautiful green eyes was talking with another, brighter orange tom with dark amber eyes, a serious expression on his face. 

"That must be her and Sunstrike, her deputy." Mallowpaw whispered, and Flashpaw nodded. She had heard rumours about Sunstrike before, though she had never had them confirmed by any cat in her Clan. Sunstrike was suspected to have been a rogue when he was a kitten. Bolstered by years of fighting, he finally managed to stumble upon the Clans, where he met the Clan medicine cat, Nectarfield - then, Nectarpaw. Nectarfield had begged Honeystar to let him join, sensing in him a powerful warrior. Surprisingly, Honeystar had agreed, and Sunstrike had joined WindClan as an apprentice, working his way to the top. Now, he was close to becoming leader, and cared for the Clan as if each Clanmate was his own kit. 

Mallowpaw nudged her again, and Flashpaw followed her glance back to Stonestar. The RiverClan leader had given the signal, and Flashpaw leapt to her paws, scrambling down the slope into the clearing beyond.

Fourtrees was filled with cats. They pressed on all sides of her, and for a moment Flashpaw felt suffocated, disoriented. Then she felt her sister's fur guiding her towards a small clearing, and she was lead over to a pair of cats that were gathered on a tree stump near the edge of the clearing.

They both seemed about Flashpaw's age, with maybe a moon difference between them. The two smelled like ShadowClan, with one being a tom and the other being a she-cat. The she-cat was looking annoyed as the tom paced, but as Flashpaw and her sister drew near, he stopped his movements to look at them. 

"Who are you?" The tom asked. He sniffed and then wrinkled his nose. "You smell like fish."

Flashpaw felt briefly embarrassed. "We're from Riverclan, so of course we smell like fish!"

"My name is Mallowpaw, and this is my sister, Flashpaw." Mallowpaw frowned at the tom in question. "And who might you be?"

The tom shot her a look as if to say _I didn't ask you_ , and then replied, "My name is Birdpaw, and this is my friend, Lizardpaw. Is this your first Gathering? I've never seen either of you here before."

"I don't see why it's any of your buisness whether or not it's our first." Mallowpaw spoke and then sniffed, turning away condescendingly. Flashpaw shifted her paws, embarrassed, and gave the tom - Birdpaw - an apologetic dip of her head.

"Yes, this is our first Gathering. Is it yours?" Flashpaw asked.

"Actually, this is my second Gathering." He puffed his chest out. "I must be older than you."

"Stop bragging, idiot." Lizardpaw hissed from the stump above, swatting him lightly over the ears. "It doesn't make you look cool, just stupid."

Birdpaw shrunk away and glared at her. Flashpaw twitched her whiskers and let out a soft _mrrow_ , amused by these ShadowClan cats and their weird antics.

"Don't pay Birdpaw any attention." Lizardpaw told them, her tail twitching on the stump she was laying upon. "He doesn't know how to shut up."

"Hey, I'm right here," Birdpaw snapped, looking offended.

"You two can join us if you'd like." Lizardpaw offered, ignoring him. "We're waiting on SkyClan to show up."

"Oh? Why?" Flashpaw asked, and Mallowpaw glanced at Lizardpaw with curiosity. 

"We have a friend in that Clan who we met at the previous Gathering." Lizardpaw told her. "Oatpaw. I'm assuming you don't know her, if this is your first time out."

"I don't, sorry." Flashpaw tilted her head. "Is she nice?"

"Nicer than most cats I've met." Lizardpaw huffed, adjusting her weight on her paws. "Again, feel free to stick around. You might meet her, who knows." 

Flashpaw nodded, deciding to settle down on the ground nearby the stump. Mallowpaw sat beside her as if she were guarding her sister, and with Lizardpaw they watched the crowd as Birdpaw paced, seemingly unable to keep still for more than five seconds.

The fresh scent of SkyClan hit the small group of apprentices before the Clan itself appeared on top of the ridge. Flashpaw rose her eyes to watch the cats gathered above. She felt her sister's ear twitch from beside her.

"Do you see Velvetstar anywhere?" Flashpaw murmured to her sister as she scanned the top of the ridge. Mallowpaw shifted beside her, but was cut off from responding by a sharp gasp from Birdpaw.

"There she is! Oatpaw!" Birdpaw pointed with his tail to the group of SkyClan cats. Flashpaw followed his gaze to a smaller she-cat sitting near the outside of the group. She had cream-brown fur, and beautiful green eyes. She was gazing down into the clearing below, her face betraying no emotion.

"That looks like Velvetstar," Mallowpaw whispered from beside her, and Flashpaw moved her gaze from Oatpaw to a cream she-cat with soft pink eyes. 

The she-cat was said to be very kind, with a strong connection to StarClan that surpassed any other leader. It seemed to ring true; her gaze was filled with confidence, yet an aura seemed to eminate from her that radiated comfort. As Flashpaw observed this about the petite SkyClan leader, Velvetstar rose her tail and flicked it, signaling to her cats that they could dive down into the hollow below.

In only a moment, the young apprentice Flashpaw had spotted before had joined their group - and nearly tackled Birdpaw. The two scuffled lightly on the ground, and Mallowpaw gasped from beside her before releasing a relieved sigh. "Ah... their claws are sheathed."

Oatpaw poked her head up at Mallowpaw's voice, and Birdpaw used it as an opportunity to pin her to the ground. With a loud squeal, she tore away from his grip and sat up, shaking out her fur. "Who are you?" She burst out as she looked directly at Mallowpaw.

Mallowpaw seemed taken aback by the sudden inquiry. "Um... well, we're from RiverClan. I'm... I'm Mallowpaw, and this is my sister, Flashpaw."

"Woah..." Oatpaw's eyes stretched wide. "I've never been friends with a RiverClan cat before!" She stretched one paw out in front of her and bowed, startling Flashpaw. "I'm Oatpaw of SkyClan! I hope I'm able to make your time worthwhile!"

"You..." Mallowpaw stammered, lost for words, and Lizardpaw laughed from behind her, the wheezing meows echoing in the cool night air.

"Oatpaw is a little eager when she meets new people. Don't take her too seriously." Lizardpaw licked a paw, paused for dramatic effect, and then, finally, drew it over her face.

As Mallowpaw tried to come up with a response, Flashpaw looked on at the group of apprentices she had found herself to be a part of. _What an odd group of cats._

"Now that you've shown up, we should be able to start the Gathering." Birdpaw broke into Mallowpaw's stuttering as he appeared beside Oatpaw, looking the apprentice in the eye. 

"It sucks that we were the late ones this time!" Oatpaw sighed. "I wanted more time with you guys. I had an awesome story to tell about a squirrel I caught!"

"Let the meeting begin!" Jaggedstar called from the great rock as he loomed over the clearing, his eyes flashing under the moonlight.

"Next time, maybe." Birdpaw told her, and then looked back at Flashpaw and her sister. "You two are joining us, right?"

Flashpaw looked at him affectionately. "Yes, of course... why wouldn't we?"

Birdpaw purred at her, and Flashpaw enjoyed his eyes on her even as Mallowpaw made a noise of irritation from beside her. She rose her eyes to look at the leaders from the five warrior Clans as the Gathering officially began.

\- - -

Parting from their new friends proved to be quite difficult for Flashpaw, as a person who got attached to others easily. But she knew that it was a must; her duty must first remain to her Clan and only to her Clan. There was no other choice if she wanted to be a warrior of RiverClan.

As the cats started their silent journey back to camp, Mallowpaw ended up falling into step beside Flashpaw once again. Flashpaw felt comfortable next to her sister, safe inside her own thoughts, until Mallowpaw interrupted.

"Hey, Flashpaw..." Mallowpaw didn't meet her gaze. The young apprentice seemed nervous; her ears were lowered, and her tail was lightly twitching. "I wanted to ask you... have you been doing alright?..."

"Huh?" Worry flashed through Flashpaw. _Why would she be asking me if I'm okay?_ "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just... I mean... are you sure?" Mallowpaw rose her gaze to look over, a soft expression on her face that Flashpaw recognized as sisterly tenderness. "Flashpaw... haven't you noticed what's been going on with your mother?"

"My mother?" Flashpaw was so shocked that for a moment, she forgot to take a step forward. The bodies of her Clanmates brushed her side fur as they walked by her, quickly bringing her to her senses again. "What about my mother?" She asked, urgent. "Is something wrong with her? Is she sick?"

"N-no! Not at all!" Mallowpaw quickly reassured her, touching her tail to Flashpaw's flank. The young apprentice felt herself relax under her friend's touch, and nodded at her, giving her permission to continue speaking. 

"Flashpaw." Mallowpaw stated, her voice stronger than it had been previously. "Have you not noticed how close she's been to Molefur recently?"

"Molefur?" Flashpaw narrowed her eyes. "What does he have to do with anything?" 

"You really don't know?" Mallowpaw frowned at her. Flashpaw felt irritation swell up in her chest as she merely stared at Mallowpaw, as if urging her to explain.

Mallowpaw turned her head away, her gaze searching for something - or someone - in the crowd. Flashpaw continued to stare until Mallowpaw nodded towards a group of senior warriors near the front.

Flashpaw looked over the small group, easily picking out her mother. Her mother's green eyes were glowing in the moonlight as she stood next to Molefur, a large brown warrior with soft blue eyes. His pelt shook with _mrrows_ as she said something to him, and he dipped his head down to brush it against her own. Greeneyes purred as a response, looking more peaceful than Flashpaw had ever seen her.

Flashpaw honed in on the sight in front of her, feeling her world crumble. _So Mallowpaw isn't making things up_ , she thought to herself. Shock made her numb for a few silent steps. Flashpaw felt the eyes of her sister on her, as if she were waiting for Flashpaw's next move.

Anger and despair crashed down on the young cat's chest as the shock of the revelation wore off. "Are you serious? Is this real?" Flashpaw's whiskers were quivering, and she shot her sister an angry look. "I don't believe it. I can't."

"Flashpaw..." Mallowpaw touched her nose to her sister's cheek, but Flashpaw jerked away from her touch. 

"No, don't. I can't believe her! Doesn't she realize how much she's torn this family apart?" Flashpaw's voice cut the warm night air around them. "It was her decision to leave dad, and it was her decision to get close to another tom like she didn't even care about it! Doesn't she see how hard this has been for me? I just want the perfect family, but I can't even have that!" 

Mallowpaw recoiled away from her, looking shocked. "Flashpaw... it isn't her fault. She's tried so hard to keep you happy-"

"Well it isn't working." Flashpaw puffed her fur up in the night air and flattened her ears, not looking at her sister. "I haven't been happy in moons."

"Flashpaw," Mallowpaw sounded desperate. "You can't mean that."

"Bet." Flashpaw mumbled, inaudible to her sister as she tuned her out. She was done listening. She was done begging for comfort. Everyone who had ever loved her hurt her again and again and they didn't even seem to care about it. She didn't want to hear it.

Her thoughts wandered to Cloudstorm, and to their promise.

_What if I promised to be a constant for you? To provide you with a sense of stability and comfort when everything gets to be too much. I can be your companion in your time of darkness, someone who can teach you as much as you need to know about anything you may need to know. We will be each others supporters._

In her mind's eye, she could see his kind, alluring eyes, and his soft white fur. He was an angel to her. 

_And he only wants what's best for me. He's never done anything to intentionally hurt me. He's always looked out for me when I needed him..._

Flashpaw felt exhaustion crash down on her as she thought of her new mate, her tail drooping. Flashpaw swayed on her paws, nearly falling if it weren't for Mallowpaw pressing her shoulder to Flashpaw's flank. She felt so miserably tired.

"Flashpaw, are you sure you're okay?" Mallowpaw's voice was full of worry, and Flashpaw let her eyes trail up to look at the camp entrance ahead. She noticed suddenly that they had fallen behind in the group, and that all her Clanmates were already inside. 

"Yes, I'm... I'm fine." The lie tasted bitter on her tongue. She was tired, and she was sad, but she didn't want to get Mallowpaw involved. "I'm just tired." She pushed away from her sister once she regained her balance, heading towards the entrance. "I'll talk to you in the morning, Mallowpaw. I'm going to sleep."

Mallowpaw's eyes followed her into camp, worry sparking from her. "Good night." She called, and Flashpaw didn't respond.

\- - -

Paws hit her shoulder as soon as she opened her eyes. Her world disoriented itself as she gasped, flailing her paws to try and get a grip on her surroundings. Her shoulder hurt against the hard ground, and the musky smell of blood was overwhelming, frightening her.

"You've been very good, Flashpaw." Came a soothing voice on her ear. Cloudstorm's warm scent touched her nose, and his rough tongue ran over the fur behind her ear as his paws continued to hold her down. "I'm proud of you. You haven't mentioned me to your sister at all..."

"I don't approve of this, Cloudstorm. I hate lying to her." Flashpaw protested from beneath him, trying to kick him off. "I don't want to be a part of any of this."

Cloudstorm's eyes hardened with anger, his mouth twisting in a snarl. "I thought I made it clear to you that if you want to be by my side, you have to accept my conditions and abide by my rules. Stop fighting against me!"

Claws raked her muzzle, and Flashpaw jerked her head back as blood trickled down her chest. She stared past him as she stopped moving.

"You're right, Cloudstorm. I'm sorry." She drawled out, her voice emotionless. A feeling of despair nipped at her chest. 

Cloudstorm's tongue drew over her muzzle. The action made her wound sting, but the pain couldn't pierce the feelings plaguing her chest. "I'm sorry, Flashpaw. I shouldn't hurt you like this... it won't happen again."

Flashpaw wasn't listening. She didn't want to. Her thoughts drifted back to Mallowpaw, back in camp, worried about her well-being. She had shown signs of going through a hard time in these past few moons, yet she never despaired. Her sister was always upbeat, always energetic, always ready for a new day. 

Jealousy dawned within her as Flashpaw's eyes shifted to look at her StarClan lover. _I wonder what it must feel like, to not be so tired and sad all the time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope the wait was worth it !!! this chapter is longer than the others have been, and i expect the next chapter to be quite long as well. i changed the rating to mature, but i consider this fic to be 16+ !!!  
>   
> can we get an F in the chat for flashpaw


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashpaw has a realization.

Leaf-fall had begun to bloom on the four warrior Clans as Flashpaw turned ten moons old. The leaves began to turn beautiful shades of red and orange and yellow that Flashpaw had never seen before, and the weather had begun to get cooler. Flashpaw herself could feel the energy buzzing around the camp as warriors and medicine cats alike prepared for the bitter frosts of leafbare.

Flashpaw had gotten used to getting up early in the mornings, exhausted from long nights of Cloudstorm's harsh words in her ears. The tom had developed a habit of criticizing every movement she took in the waking world, and rarely left her alone for a night off. It caused her to feel tired, anxious, and jumpy in the waking world, with an all-encompassing sadness taking over her thoughts when she slept. She had gotten used to the sting of his claws on her fur.

_Sometimes_ , it wasn't so bad. _Sometimes_ , his words would be a gentle purr, and he'd offer to play with her, just like they did when Flashpaw was a newly named apprentice. But now Flashpaw was getting older, and she was tired. The games didn't feel as satisfying as they used to be.

"Flashpaw," Gorgeleap's voice cut across her fuzzy thoughts as he stopped in his tracks. Her mentor had woken her up early for a hunt in the forest, but now he seemed more annoyed than anything. "Stop dragging your tail through the leaves. You'll scare away all the prey!"

Flashpaw flinched, fear worming its way through her stomach as she expected to be clawed for her actions. Gorgeleap watched her with worry in his eyes, and Flashpaw realized the terror must be showing on her face. _He's never clawed me before. He's not Cloudstorm._

Gorgeleap had been a little more irritable as of late, but he never got too angry with Flashpaw. It was obvious to her that he was preoccupied with his kits, which had been born only a few days after her first Gathering. Now four moons old, his kits always seemed to get under paw in the camp clearing. Cloudkit and Ebonykit were the sweetest little kits in the world, and Flashpaw knew they made their parents proud - even if it meant Gorgeleap turned out to be a bit grumpier than usual. He had a tendency to get upset if he was away from them for too long.

The worry in Gorgeleap's eyes faded into exhaustion as he sighed. "Look, Flashpaw, why don't you take the day off? Go rest. It's obvious that you need a break from your apprentice duties."

Flashpaw perked up. "Really?" She asked, and then beamed when he nodded. Turning away, she called out a quick goodbye to Gorgeleap, heading back to the RiverClan camp.

Flashpaw pushed through the camp entrance and brushed past the fresh-kill pile. She slipped into the empty apprentice's den and paused, looking around.

For about two moons, Flashpaw had been alone in the small den. Snowpaw and her siblings had gotten their warrior names first, and were now deemed Snowpool, Goldfoot, and Troutnose. For about a moon after that, Flashpaw had been able to share the den with the other apprentices, but they had soon gotten their warrior names as well. Tundrafur, Rippleshade and Fallowshade had moved into the warriors den, leaving Flashpaw completely alone.

Flashpaw dragged herself from these thoughts, her heavy paws taking her over to her nest. She collapsed into it and curled up, closing her eyes for a quick nap.

The metallic tinge of blood touched her nose, and when she opened her eyes she was met with black oak trees and a red sky. Fear filled her heart; she wasn't ready to meet with Cloudstorm yet. The urgency and terror mixed together, and Flashpaw suddenly jerked her head up, her eyes snapping open in the waking world.

She was back in the apprentice's den, alone.

Flashpaw slowly pulled herself into a sitting position, and then dragged herself out of her nest and into the camp clearing. The clearing was empty except for Blizzardheart and her kits. The small cats were scuffling together by the fresh-kill pile. On a normal day, Flashpaw would choose to join them, but today, sadness turned her paws towards the medicine den.

Pushing herself inside, Flashpaw went to sit against one of the den walls. Mallowpaw was there with Nightshade; Nightshade was talking quietly with Stonestar, while Mallowpaw sorted herbs in the back with careful paws.

Flashpaw felt numb as she watched Mallowpaw sort a sharp-smelling herb from a sweet-smelling one. She didn't expect Mallowpaw to greet her; after their last fight, Flashpaw hadn't been able to apologize to her. By the time she had been ready to, Cloudstorm had forbidden it. His words came back to her now as Mallowpaw looked up and shot her a cold stare. _I don't like her, Flashpaw. She isn't good for you at all. Who decides to abandon their sibling, and then hurt them with news of their mother's betrayal? You should stay away from her._

Flashpaw turned away from Mallowpaw's frosty stare and padded out into the clearing. One of the hunting patrols had returned, and Flashpaw noticed that her mother had returned. The green-eyed cat was laying with Molefur by the warriors den. They talked to one another in soft voices, sharing a piece of prey between them. 

They had made their relationship official to her about a moon ago. Greeneyes had approached her, hesitation in her step, and had broke the news to her. _I understand why you still love your father, Flashpaw, but I haven't loved him in a long time. I don't want to suffer any more for things he did to me. It's time for me to move on._

Greeneyes turned to meet her daughter's gaze. Flashpaw watched her, making no effort to hide the bitterness on her face. Sadness seemed to settle on her mother's features for a moment, and Flashpaw felt momentarily guilty. _I'm happy for her, I guess._

Getting up, Flashpaw began to pad across the clearing. Cloudstorm had reaffirmed her hatred for her mother every time it started to waver. _She's a liar, Flashpaw. Not like me. She wants to see your family destroyed. Do you really want to forgive her for that? I wouldn't, if I were you._

Pushing her way outside, Flashpaw began to trod through the forest. The cool air dragged at her fur, and she sighed. Voices caught her attention, and she flicked her ear. Goldenface appeared around the corner, leading a hunting patrol. Flashpaw quickly curved away from them. Goldenface only ever seemed interested in belitting Flashpaw, and she didn't feel like talking with her today. Heading between the trees, Flashpaw soon popped out by the bank of the river, where the water met smooth gray pebbles under her paws.

The sound of the river was soothing to Flashpaw, and she slowly settled herself down into a laying position. Despair ate at her chest. She felt utterly alone. No one really understood her anymore, and no one attempted to, either. Sometimes she felt as if there was no point in being in this waking world. Maybe the best thing for her to do would be to join StarClan, so that Cloudstorm could rule over her remaining days for as long as he pleased...

Flashpaw closed her eyes, seeing Cloudstorm's face in her mind. Fear and exhaustion caused her legs to shake. She wasn't ready to see him again. She wasn't ready to get hurt by him again, even if he said it was for her own good. She was...

She was scared of him.

The realization clicked in her mind and she opened her eyes, staring into the river. She was scared of her mate, and she was so unhappy whenever he was around. She slowly sat up, the shock of her revelation making gears turn in her head. No wonder she hated going to sleep, no wonder she always felt anxious doing things on her own. No wonder she felt so miserable with him around - she was scared of him, she was unhappy! And...

_And a mate is supposed to make you feel like the happiest cat in the world. Maybe... maybe Cloudstorm is not the cat for me._

Flashpaw spent some time watching the river as she thought. Today, the river was slow-moving, sliding over the stones without a care in the world. It helped soothe whatever had gone amiss in Flashpaw's heart, and she was filled with renewed contentment, even if she was still tired.

When the sun dipped below the horizon, Flashpaw got to her paws and stretched out her muscles. Her body relaxed as she padded through the forest. A scratching noise under a fallen leaf alerted Flashpaw to the existence of a mouse. Flashpaw dropped into a hunting crouch and pounced, rising from the forest floor with the mouse gripped firmly in her jaws.

The noise of the wind through the trees was pleasant to Flashpaw. She pushed into camp and headed for the elders den. Her revelation had given her a sense of urgency, and she decided that she'd drop this mouse off and eat later. Ducking her head in the elders den, she dropped her catch and blinked. "Stonetooth?"

The old tom rose his head and blinked warmly at her. The new elder rose to his paws and padded over to her. "Is that for me?"

"Of course." Flashpaw purred softly. Stonetooth had been sweet to Flashpaw ever since she was a kit, back when he was training Snowpool. As promised, he had retired as soon as Snowpool had become a warrior, and now resided in the elder's den.

Stonetooth thanked her and took the soft body from her. Flashpaw ducked out of the den, leaving the older cat to his meal, and headed back to her own nest.

It was time to meet with Cloudstorm.

\- - -

Flashpaw's eyes opened in the blood-smelling forest, and she blinked as her vision slowly adjusted. She sat up, sitting next to a huge oak tree that bathed her in ebony-colored shadows.

The sweet scent of her mate greeted her before Cloudstorm appeared next to her. The tom pressed his muzzle to her cheek, purring softly in greeting. "I missed you, Flashpaw..."

"Cloudstorm..." Flashpaw shied away from him, trying not to look at his resulting frown. "I need to speak with you about something."

Cloudstorm's stare bored into the side of her head. She tried her hardest to ignore him as she continued, but fear made her legs shake. _Can I really do this?_

"I realized today that I'm really scared of you. You make me unhappy." _My voice is trembling_. "I don't want to date you anymore. Maybe we can be friends, but coming here every night is exhausting. I'm always tired. It'd be nice to have some space to myself for a little while to cope with this choice, if that's okay."

_He isn't saying anything_. Flashpaw dared to look up, shuddering at the look on Cloudstorm's face. Anger was swirling in his eyes, and with one sudden movement, he unsheathed his claws and slashed her throat.

Flashpaw jerked awake with a pained screech. Pain blurred her vision, but she could hear movement from the camp. A Clanmate's yowl called for a medicine cat, and Mallowpaw was by her side in an instant. "Flashpaw, stay with me - oh, StarClan help her." 

Blood was pouring down her throat, drenching her nest. Her vision blurred, but she blinked, trying to focus on Mallowpaw as Mallowpaw pressed a thick layer of cobwebs to her throat. It was hard to breathe, and her head swam.

"It's okay, Flashpaw, I'm going to get you cleaned up. Just focus on breathing. Everything's going to be alright." Mallowpaw leaned down to sniff her wound and called over her shoulder, "Get broom and comfrey root! Now!" Her hiss was frantic, and Flashpaw whimpered under her touch.

She momentarily blacked out, and when she reawakened, Mallowpaw was pressing a sharp-smelling poultice to her wound. "The bleeding won't stop. I don't know what to do, but if we don't stop it, she's going to die!" 

"Calm down. Let me take a look." Nightshade's voice broke in, and her scent washed over Flashpaw. A second set of paws joined the first on her throat, and Flashpaw slipped back into sleep.

\- - -

_She was chasing a rabbit through a beautiful field. Her body felt heavy, but her throat was aching with hunger. No matter how fast she ran, the rabbit seemed to escape her; Flashpaw tried to pounce on it for the third time, but to no avail. Sitting up in the field, Flashpaw lashed her tail._ This isn't fair. I'm hungry.

_Mallowpaw appeared from somewhere beside her, her fur fluffed up against the wind. "Come on, Flashpaw! It's getting away!"_

_Flashpaw looked at her sister and then purred, but the noise hurt her throat, and she suddenly swayed on her paws. Mallowpaw yelled as she hit the ground and blacked out._

\- - -

When she woke up again, she realized she had been moved from her nest into a clean one. She felt hot, and tired. The apprentice's den was full of only her and Mallowpaw, who was sitting beside her and lapping her head. As Flashpaw's eyes cracked open, she paused, looking down at her.

"Keep still, Flashpaw. You're really, really sick." Mallowpaw dipped her head to the side, picking up something between her teeth. When Flashpaw focused, she realized it was moss wet with dripping water. Mallowpaw pressed it to Flashpaw's lips. She lapped it up with her tongue, but whimpered when she swallowed.

"You've developed an infection overnight." Mallowpaw whispered softly. "We're trying to treat it before it gets into your blood. Just leave it to us, okay?"

Flashpaw twitched her ear to show her that she had heard. Mallowpaw ran her tongue over her head a few times, and Flashpaw closed her eyes. "Go to sleep." Mallowpaw's voice whispered to her, and Flashpaw fell into an uneasy slumber.

\- - -

_"Flashpaw, you passed out," Mallowpaw pouted over her body as she awakened in the bright field. "The rabbit got away."_

_Flashpaw pulled herself to a sitting position. She couldn't believe she let the rabbit get away! Opening her jaws, she tasted the air, but the scent was already stale. Her tail drooped in disappointment. She ruined the hunt!_

_"It's okay. WindClan territory isn't the best for hunting, anyways." Mallowpaw shrugged, leading her towards Fourtrees. Flashpaw followed just behind her sister. "Hey, Flashpaw, have you ever wanted to go to StarClan?"_

_Flashpaw nodded, wondering why she couldn't speak. She didn't tell her sister that she had been to StarClan before._

_"Do you want to go there now?" Mallowpaw paused and grinned. "I can take you there. I'm a medicine cat, you know."_

_Flashpaw's eyes lit up, but before she could respond, a dark cloud started to spread in the sky over the field. Mallowpaw's eyes widened, and her legs started to shake. Her face was frozen with horror as she stared at Flashpaw. Flashpaw looked down._

_Blood was pouring from her neck in overlapping waves, looking similar to the river she lived beside. She tried to speak, but her voice choked and gurgled. Her vision blurred, and she heard Mallowpaw scream._

\- - -

Snapping her eyes open, she found herself wheezing in her nest. She could hear Mallowpaw and Nightshade talking in the empty apprentice's den.

"Mallowpaw, you have to accept the fact that Flashpaw might not make it." Nightshade's voice was gentle, but grim. "The infection's entered her bloodstream. Unless a miracle happens, she's as good as dead."

"No!" Mallowpaw's voice was desperate, and angry. "I refuse to lose her! She's _not_ going to die! She doesn't even have her warrior name yet!"

"Mallowpaw, you can't control-"

"I didn't become a medicine cat just to watch my sister die." Mallowpaw's pawsteps were hitting the floor, but Flashpaw couldn't see where they were coming from. "I don't care if being beside her means starving. If she goes, then I'm going with her."

As the pawsteps got closer, Flashpaw blacked out.

\- - -

Through the burn in her throat and the haze in her head, Flashpaw called to her vision one cat's name. The cat who had started this whole mess, the cat who had hurt her again and again despite claiming that he wasn't.

Cloudstorm.

Her body jolted, a sharp gasp leaving her throat as her paws landed in StarClan. The scent of blood was overwhelming, and when she looked down, she saw that the red liquid had stained her chest fur, even in this dream world.

"Are you ready to leave me yet, Flashpaw?" Cloudstorm's voice came from behind her, and she whipped around. He looked amused. "If you do, then you may as well be lost here. Do you know where this is? This isn't StarClan. It never has been."

Flashpaw swayed on her paws, loneliness settling in her stomach like a rock. She was tired, and she hurt. Cloudstorm's eyes glinted. "This is the Dark Forest. It's where bad cats go, bad cats who get rejected by the Clans and their precious cat heaven."

"No..." Flashpaw whispered. 

"Do you know why I'm here, Flashpaw? Because RiverClan rejected me. _StarClan_ rejected me. There was never a single cat in the Clans who cared about me or what I felt." Cloudstorm's voice was low. "And now, I've found you. The one person who wants to be my mate, my companion. Do you really want to reject me? Do you... do you really want to be rejected _by_ me? To be alone in a Clan full of traitors, believing in a religion full of more traitors? If I were you, I'd rethink this, Flashpaw."

Flashpaw puffed out her fur, anger spreading through her chest as she realized he lied to her. _He tricked me. He's been using me this entire time so he could feel better about himself!_

"No wonder they rejected you!" She hissed at him. Her throat ached, but she didn't care. "You've done nothing but torment me ever since I agreed to be your mate. I don't care if I'm alone, I don't care if I have to wander in this forest forever! I'm done with you!"

Cloudstorm recoiled at her words, shock and anger spreading on his face. Flashpaw continued. "Stop telling me that people don't care about me. I've had people caring for me every step of the way. _I'm_ the one who's pushed them away, because of _you_! My sister is out there worried sick about me! She would _never_ hurt me!"

Cloudstorm's face darkened. "Flashpaw-"

"No. I don't care. I never want to see you again!" She hissed, whipping around and stalking away from him. Branches smacked her in the face as she raced away, ignoring her now ex-mate's calls. They echoed behind her in the Dark Forest as she left him in eternal solitude.

\- - -

Flashpaw's eyes cracked open. Her head didn't feel as heavy as it did before, and a slight chill nipped at her fur. She shivered.

Dawn light was filtering through the apprentice's den. Mallowpaw was sitting a little bit away from her, sorting through herbs with a careful paw and muttering things under her breath. Flashpaw stirred, raising her head, and Mallowpaw turned.

"Flashpaw," Mallowpaw said softly, getting to her paws and padding over to her. Mallowpaw grabbed the moss ball from before in her jaws and dangled it near Flashpaw's mouth. Flashpaw licked up the water graciously, welcoming the cool taste on her dry tongue.

Mallowpaw placed the moss down on the ground and looked at her sister, a warm look in her eyes. "Flashpaw, your fever's broken. You're going to be alright."

Relief weighed down on her injured body, banishing anxiety that she didn't even know she had. With a purr that caused the wound on her throat to sting, she wheezed out, "Thank you..."

"Shh..." Mallowpaw licked behind her ears. "Save your strength. You should get some rest. Your body will need it in order to heal the injury."

Flashpaw closed her eyes, listening to the rhythmic lapping of Mallowpaw's tongue on her fur. The birds chirped in the trees above the RiverClan camp as Flashpaw dozed off once more.

\- - -

Cloudstorm didn't show up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one week ?! ikr LOL, i literally hyperfixated on this chapter. its been the one chapter ive been looking forward to writing ever since i began this fic !! im rly proud of how it turned out, i hope u guys like it too!!!! comments r rly appreciated :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashpaw has her warrior ceremony.

Flashpaw's jaws opened wide in a gaping yawn as her legs stretched out, trembling slightly. She had stiffened up by sitting near the medicine cat den, waiting on her mentor to come back with news of when her warrior ceremony would be. 

She had just passed her assessment. Nightshade had deemed her fit enough to walk about a quarter moon after her injury, and ever since then she had been training as hard as she could so that Gorgeleap would recommend her to Stonestar as a warrior. Today, he had told her that he thought her ready, and had taken her around the territory for her final tests. She had caught the largest trout she could find in her fishing challenge, knocked her mentor off his paws in the fighting challenge, and caught two large sparrows and a squirrel on her way back to camp. It had been a good day.

For the first time in moons, Flashpaw's head felt clear and her heart light. She had found her place in the Clan, and was ready to earn her spot as RiverClan's newest warrior. Dipping her head down, she began to lick her chest fur.

She rose her head back up as pawsteps sounded before her. The sight of her sister greeted her, and she purred. "Hey, Mallowpaw."

Mallowpaw leaned over to touch her muzzle to her sister's. "Congratulations, Flashpaw! You did it! I'm so, so proud of you. I can't believe you're going to be a warrior!"

Flashpaw brushed her muzzle against her sister's, returning her affectionate gesture. "Thank you, Mallowpaw. I'm proud of you, too, you know... for following your heart."

Mallowpaw looked uncomfortably embarrassed, shifting her paws beneath her and flattening her ears to her head. "It really isn't a big deal, Flashpaw. Nothing extraordinary came out of stepping down."

After Flashpaw had regained her strength enough to return to her apprentice duties, Mallowpaw had announced to the Clan that she would be stepping down from her medicine cat duties in order to become a warrior apprentice. She had struggled with liking her profession since being pressured into it by the adult cats, but was finally pushed into leaving it after Flashpaw's injuries. The infection had been so severe that it had terrified Mallowpaw to know she could have lost her sister, and it seemed to have traumatized her more than Mallowpaw liked to admit. Whenever Flashpaw got the slightest sniffle or scratch Mallowpaw would push her towards the medicine den so that Nightshade could check on her - just in case.

"I just like knowing that you're safe," Mallowpaw had told her one afternoon after Gorgeleap had allowed Mallowpaw to come hunting with them. She had been assigned, technically, to Mistynose, but Gorgeleap liked to take Mallowpaw out as often as he could. Flashpaw figured it was due to the lack of apprentices in the Clan - Flashpaw hadn't had much partnered training, and Mallowpaw wouldn't have any until Gorgeleap's kits were apprenticed, which would be soon.

"Maybe nothing great came out of it," Flashpaw relented, shaking off her thoughts. "But you've done a lot by doing what you thought was best for you. That's always a difficult decision to make."

Mallowpaw eyed her sister. Not for the first time in these past moons, surprise lit up her face. "Where did you get so wise?" 

Flashpaw twitched her whiskers and purred. "Only in my dreams," she meowed cheekily, and Mallowpaw _mrrowed_ in response.

Flashpaw and Mallowpaw had had a long discussion about Cloudstorm while she had been in recovery. Mallowpaw had washed Flashpaw behind the ears as Flashpaw explained to her that Cloudstorm had came to her first in a vision, and then had begun visiting her dreams by claiming he was a warrior from StarClan. He had promised her stability and safety, and eventually Flashpaw had fallen in love with him. She told Mallowpaw that she never could have predicted what he would put her through as she recounted the most prominent moments of violence that she could currently recall.

Mallowpaw had moved away from her to sort herbs. "You know, Flashpaw, that fits the definition of an abusive tom."

"I know that now." Flashpaw admitted. "But I didn't back then."

"He never would have been a good fit for you." Flashpaw couldn't see Mallowpaw's eyes as she kept turned away from her. Her paw made soft scuffling sounds as she pushed her herbs into piles. "A tom who abuses others can never be a good mate."

During this conversation, Flashpaw had found out that Cloudstorm wasn't a StarClan warrior after all. Mallowpaw had asked her to describe the settings of her dreams, and Flashpaw's face had scrunched up at the memory.

"It always smells metallic, like blood has soaked into the ground and won't ever get cleaned up. The sky is red, and the trees are black and tall, stretching towards the sky with long branches. Cloudstorm showed me around somewhat, but... there weren't really many plants there, except for the trees, and I never found a place to get water." 

Mallowpaw frowned. "That doesn't sound like StarClan... that sounds like the Dark Forest."

It made sense to her, after Mallowpaw had described it to her. The Dark Forest was a place for cats who got rejected from StarClan to go; usually murderers, or those who had broken the code beyond repair. Flashpaw had spent the next few days of her recovery in troubled pensiveness, wondering what exactly Cloudstorm could have done to earn him a place in the Dark Forest.

Mallowpaw had told Stonestar what had happened to Flashpaw, but upon Flashpaw's request (and after gaining Nightshade's approval), they decided to hide the truth from the Clan. Flashpaw wasn't ready for the Clan to know about what had happened to her, and she wasn't sure if she ever would be. Instead, they told the cats that Flashpaw had injured herself accidentally by tossing in her sleep.

Mallowpaw's eyes softened and she sighed, sitting next to her sister and letting her fur brush Flashpaw's. They were quiet for a moment as they watched the camp together. Snowpool came running out of the nursery with Ebonykit at her heels, playing with a ball of moss. Nightshade was talking with Rippleshade outside of the medicine den. Tundrafur was eating a large trout beside the fresh-kill pile, her eyes bright.

"I wish I could be made a warrior alongside you today." Mallowpaw mumbled from beside her, and Flashpaw flicked her ears in acknowledgement. She knew exactly how Mallowpaw felt; her apprentice ceremony flashed in her mind, but the hurt and betrayal that had been strong in the moment had faded. Now, she was proud of her sister's decisions, even if it meant that she had to switch her path.

"You'll have your warrior name, soon." Flashpaw turned her head to look at her. "I'll wait for you, okay? The warrior's den isn't going anywhere." 

"I can't wait to share it with you," Mallowpaw whispered, pressing her head to Flashpaw's. Flashpaw felt her chest swell with emotion, and she shut her eyes, murmuring agreement.

Flashpaw had nearly dozed off when Mallowpaw nudged her. "Gorgeleap's coming." She whispered.

Flashpaw snapped open her eyes and sat up straight. The RiverClan deputy strolled up to her, amusement in his gaze. 

"Flashpaw. Having a nap, are we?" His voice was teasingly light-hearted, and Flashpaw could tell he didn't mind. That didn't stop her fur from prickling in embarassment, however.

"Uh," She stammered, watching Gorgeleap's whiskers twitch. "Yeah, I guess."

Gorgeleap purred and touched his nose to Flashpaw's. "About to get your warrior name, and you still act like a thoughtful new apprentice on her first day of training."

"Hey!" Flashpaw exclaimed. _I'm not a young apprentice anymore_! She paused as the rest of his words sank in. Curiosity struck her chest. "About to get my warrior name?"

"Stonestar has decided that you are ready." Gorgeleap confirmed, and Flashpaw sucked in an excited breath. "Your ceremony will be in just a few moments. We're waiting on the last patrol to return to camp."

Flashpaw almost couldn't believe it. _This is what I've been waiting for for my entire life._ She looked at Mallowpaw, who returned her excited stare. _The only thing that could make this better is if Mallowpaw was getting her name alongside me._

Flashpaw set to washing her fur as the camp settled down for the evening. Stonestar eventually slid out of his den, sitting under the shadow of the highrock to watch his Clan with an unreadable expression.

The last patrol got back around sunset. The orange light was washing over the clearing, stretching out until it fell into shadow. The cats deposited their prey on the fresh-kill pile, and Stonestar jumped onto the highrock with a summoning yowl.

"Let all cats old enough to swim join beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!"

Cats poked their heads out of some of the dens, glancing sleepily at their leader before pushing out to gather in the clearing.

Stonestar watched his Clan gather. His blue eyes glowed orange in the dying sun, and his ears were pricked, alert. As the Clan settled down beneath him, he began to speak.

"Today we have gathered for one of the most important moments in Clan life." Stonestar swept his Clan with a serious expression. "Without this moment, there would be no Clan, and without a Clan, there would be no purpose."

The Clan murmured agreement as Flashpaw flicked her tail, excitement and anxiety fighting one another in her chest.

"This important moment is the moment where our young have their first taste of adulthood." Stonestar settled his eyes on Flashpaw. She sought encouragement in his gaze, but saw nothing. "Flashpaw, come forward."

Flashpaw took a few steps forward until she was standing in front of the Clan. Her legs were trembling, but she felt as if she were glowing. _This is it. This is my moment._

"Gorgeleap, speak." Stonestar turned his eyes to the Clan deputy. "Has this apprentice proven herself worthy of her warrior name?"

Flashpaw turned her head to look at her mentor as he stood, dipping his head. "Yes, Stonestar. I could not be more proud of this young cat, and I offer her to RiverClan as a warrior."

"Very well." Stonestar looked back at Flashpaw. "Then let us continue without further ado." 

Stonestar rose his head up to look at the sky. The very first stars of Silverpelt were beginning to appear as the sun bled past the horizon.

"I, Stonestar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice." Stonestar lowered his head to look at Flashpaw. "She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn."

Flashpaw met Stonestar's gaze. She could feel her Clan watching her intently. _I hope I don't mess this up._

"Flashpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Flashpaw's voice was quiet, but determined. "I do."

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name." Stonestar paused. "Flashpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Flashslip. StarClan honors your patience and your determination, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

Stonestar jumped down from the Highrock, padding up to her. He rested his muzzle on Flashslip's head, and Flashslip licked the leader's shoulder. When Stonestar stepped away, the Clan erupted into cheering.

"Flashslip! Flashslip!"

Flashslip's eyes misted over with emotion. _I'm a warrior now._ She glanced around her Clan, awe swelling in her chest.

"Tonight, Flashslip will sit a silent vigil." Stonestar announced. He nodded at Flashslip and then pushed into his den as the Clan broke up into murmuring.

A few groups of cats came up to Flashslip, meowing their congratulations to her. She nodded at them, feeling proud of herself, yet slightly overwhelmed by the amount of attention she was receiving. Then Mallowpaw slid up next to her, and they gently touched noses.

"How do you like your new name?" Mallowpaw asked, her eyes glowing with pride. Flashslip released a soft purr, puffing out her chest like an apprentice who had just made their first catch.

"I love it! Flashslip... it sounds so..." Flashslip struggled for the right word. "...aquatic?"

Mallowpaw _mrrowed_ softly, sounding amused. "I suppose it does." She admitted and then glanced over her shoulder. When she turned her face back to Flashslip, she looked unusually serious.

"Flashslip... why don't you talk to your mom before your vigil begins? She's proud of you, you know." Mallowpaw's voice was kind and soft.

Flashslip tensed, flicking her eyes over Mallowpaw's shoulder and catching her mother's gaze. They stared at each other, green eyes locking with blue, and Flashslip slowly turned her gaze back to her sister. "I dunno... I haven't even met her new mate, not as like, a new father type thing."

"Maybe you should give him a chance to get to know you." Mallowpaw shrugged as Flashslip's fur bristled. 

"But-"

"He couldn't possibly let you down as much as your father has, Flashslip." Mallowpaw urged. 

Flashslip forced her fur to lie flat. Her sister was right. Her father had left the family and started a new one with an abusive mate, almost as if he had chosen Goldenface over her. Frowning, she glanced at her paws again. _I guess one conversation couldn't hurt..._

Slowly, Flashslip got to her paws. Nerves made her hesitate until Mallowpaw gave her an encouraging nudge. Slowly, she trotted over to her mother. Greeneyes' gaze brightened as she looked on at her daughter, but she didn't dare move.

"Hey, mom." Flashslip greeted in a soft tone, reaching her muzzle up to touch it to her mother's. Slowly her mom softened into her, and they embraced one another with gentle purrs. After a long moment Greeneyes looked away to hesitantly glance at Molefur.

Flashslip dipped her head to him, and he gave her a respectful nod. "I still don't know if I see you as a father, but..." Flashslip shrugged and sat back on her haunches. "...but I'll welcome you as part of the family anyway. Thank you for making my mom happy."

Molefur looked briefly taken aback, and then he, too, lowered his head to touch muzzles with Flashslip. "Thank you," he whispered as a purr grew in his throat.

"Congratulations, Flashslip." Greeneyes murmured, returning back to her side as her stepfather looked at her with a proud, emotional gaze. "You'll be a fine warrior for RiverClan."

Relief blossomed in Flashslip's chest and she nodded, sitting with her parents and purring until the sun went down. She broke off reluctantly and went to the center of the clearing, where she would begin her silent vigil. She caught Mallowpaw's eyes from the apprentice's den, and felt a smile spread on her muzzle as happiness filled her.

_I don't think anything could be better than this moment, right now._

\- - -

The sun dawned, bleeding pretty reds and oranges across the ivory sky, turning it cerulean. Flashslip had taken to pacing the camp boundary during the night, listening to the scuttering noises of the forest and thinking.

Flashslip felt, for the first time in a long time, that she had finally earned her place in RiverClan. For the first few moons of her apprenticeship she had felt lonely and stressed, anxious and unsatisfied. It had led her to seek out a relationship with a cat who had ultimately hurt her. 

Now, he was gone, but the memories of him still lingered in everything Flashslip did and touched. She still had nightmares about his claws in her throat, still saw his face watching her in the shadows of the forest when she went out alone at night. Now, she was a warrior, and while the memory still lingered, she had begun to feel as though she could rest easy. 

Flashslip sat in the entrance of the camp, her ear twitching as she heard someone stir from the camp behind her. The dawn patrol must be rising to check the Clan boundaries; a normal Clan duty. And soon, Flashslip may have the oppurtunity to lead one of those patrols, now that she had earned her warrior name.

Pawsteps alerted her to an early riser, and she turned to see Gorgeleap approaching her. His green eyes were soft, and he slowly touched his nose to hers in greeting.

"Beautiful morning, isn't it?" He asked, and she nodded, unsure if she could speak. Gorgeleap purred softly, sitting next to her. "You can speak, you know."

"Does that mean my vigil is over?" Flashslip asked him in a soft voice. Despite being able to speak, she still didn't want to wake the Clan.

"Yes, you may return to your den at any time." Gorgeleap dipped his head. "I'll give you the day off of patrols to rest, but tomorrow you'll begin full warrior duties."

 _Warrior duties_. Flashslip purred softly. "I understand, and I'm looking forward to it."

"Good." Gorgeleap went to stand, but Flashslip interrupted him.

"Hey, Gorgeleap?" Flashslip shifted. "Can you be honest with me for a moment?"

Gorgeleap hesitated. He glanced at her, thoughtful, and then slowly nodded. "What is it?"

"Do you really think I earned my warrior name?" Flashslip asked him. "I know that I wasn't the best apprentice starting out, but..."

"You were the perfect apprentice." Gorgeleap said. His voice was quiet, but rang out with a genuine honesty that made Flashslip believe every word he was saying. "You were brave in everything you did, pushing through things even if they made you nervous. That requires strength. You were hard-working, and you were always determined to prove that you were good at what you did. I respect that about you, and I think the Clan will respect that as you grow into your new name."

Flashslip took in this new information with a thoughtful expression, and then dipped her head. "Thank you, Gorgeleap."

"Anytime." Gorgeleap nodded. "Get some rest." He stood, and started to walk away from her.

"Will do." She called after him, watching as he settled beneath highrock, calling together some of the warriors who had woken up for dawn patrols. Flashslip turned her head to look at the early morning sky. After a heartbeat, she turned and walked to the warrior's den in order to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to say something before the final chapter, since this fic is deeply personal to me. this isn't the final chapter though, don't worry - we have one more !  
>   
> irl abuse tw, rape + school shooting + self harm mention /  
>   
> i was going through a rough time in 2015. i had had a rough life up until then, but in 2015 things started hitting me hard, as i was entering my teen years. i met a guy who i befriended, and in 2016 we started to date.  
>   
> he provided me with a sense of stability where i felt i had none. if my parents fought, if my friends fought, if i lost friends or even if my cat ran away at some point, i would still have him to come home to. he was important to me because he was always there.  
>   
> however, the relationship was not healthy. if i left him alone for too long, he would get angry. it got to the point where i couldn't sleep without getting into "trouble." he would criticize my interests, and despite being with me, would almost never pass me a compliment. he would victimize himself and say that i was hurting him, no matter what i did to help him. he weaponized self-harm against me. he pretended to get raped, and at one point he pretended to be in a school shooting, just because he was angry with me.  
>   
> despite the stability and comfort this relationship provided me, and despite how amazing it felt at first, by the end of it i was tired, sad, and anxious all the time. i was afraid of stepping out of line. i was afraid of speaking my mind. i was afraid of standing up to him. i cut out my best friend because he told me to. i ignored my friends when they wanted to hang out because he would get angry at me if i didnt talk to him. and in the end, he told everyone that i was the abuser, i was the manipulative one, etc. just bc i broke up with him to protect myself.  
>   
> flashslip's neck wound is symbolic of the scar this left on my life. i'm not going to write her recovery as much because the recovery should stay implied. recovery is rocky. its messy. and im STILL recovering. so i dont know if i can write it properly. but i can speak my story, and give my message to you, the reader.  
>   
> if your spouse is hurting you, physically or emotionally, reach out. seek help. cut them out if you can. you do matter, your feelings are valid. loving, healthy relationships are not supposed to be violent. they are not supposed to make you feel afraid, or depressed. they are not supposed to make you feel avoided. you deserve better.  
>   
> / tw over  
>   
> chapter 10 will wrap up flashslip's story in a nice "epilogue" of sorts. i hope you all stick around to enjoy it! by the way, i noticed we never really saw flashslip go to the moonstone during her apprenticeship - don't worry, gorgeleap does take her! theres a lot of her training that we dont see, and thats just one part. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashslip's first Gathering as a warrior of RiverClan.

Flashslip sat with her tail wrapped neatly around her paws. Her ears were pricked. She felt calm as cats brushed past her, occasionally touching her fur.

It was her first Gathering as a full-time warrior, and Flashslip was comfortably alone. She hadn't been sure who to talk to or sit with, and had eventually settled on sitting by herself near the edge of the clearing. She liked observing, and she occasionally heard snippets of conversations from the other Clans. WindClan had a good supply of rabbits despite the cold weather; ShadowClan was having some problems with some rats near the carrionplace. Her ear had twitched as she had watched the excited ShadowClan apprentice who had recalled being a part of the battle to get rid of the smelly creatures, his companion's eyes glittering with secondhand enthusiasm.

Flashslip's eyes now scanned the top of the great rock, her gaze settling on the Clan leaders. She was particularly interested in the new ThunderClan leader, Duststar. Everyone had been discussing him during the Gathering - he had taken over after Jaggedstar's death. The previous ThunderClan leader had been slain by rogues near the edge of the territory, and Duststar had stepped in to save him - it had been too late, however, and Jaggedstar had ended up losing his final life. Duststar, as deputy, had taken over. The warrior's brown pelt made him a shadow under the light of the full moon, but his green eyes still gazed out over the other Clans with the commanding aura of a leader. Even if he was young - he had only been a warrior for four or five seasons, from what she had heard, and a deputy for even less - he seemed to be reliable. Flashslip had overheard some of the senior warriors discussing it earlier. 

"Young doesn't necessarily equate to bad. Sometimes the taste of youth broadens perspectives and allows for a new viewpoint when discussing important Clan matters." One of them had spoken. They had smelled of WindClan.

"This is true." The other had smelled of SkyClan. "It isn't like he hasn't been through tragedy, after all. It has to be hard, losing a mate when one is so young."

"Right before taking over leadership, too." The WindClan warrior had murmured. "He must have incredible strength to be able to keep both his Clan and himself together. The death of a leader always leaves a hard impact." 

Flashslip's thoughts were pulled away from ThunderClan gossip as a cat sat beside her. He had black fur with white patches. Part of his back looked like the night sky; it took her a moment to recognize him as Birdpaw of ShadowClan.

"Birdpaw?" Flashslip asked as he turned to look at her. He had grown, and Flashslip noticed a few scars crossed over his pelt, as if he had been in a few battles since their last meeting. "I can't believe I recognized you! It's been moons..."

Birdpaw's whiskers twitched. "It must have been, if you can't recognize the figure of a ShadowClan warrior." He emphasized the word warrior by stretching out his paws. She felt briefly embarassed (and a little impressed, her gaze glancing down at his strong haunches), before he leaned into her and said, "It's Birdseed now." 

All of her admiration for him drifted away as she let out a sharp _mrrow_ of laughter. "Birdseed? What kind of name is that?" 

He looked taken aback, and then embarassed. The ShadowClan cat leaned away from her and huffed. "It wasn't my choice! And it wasn't the wisest, either. I never said Marshstar was smart."

"Hey, she's your leader!" Flashslip flicked her tail over his ear, playfully scolding him. "Be nice!" 

He shot her a glare and dropped into a crouch. Birdseed seemed ready for a play-fight before Flashslip shook her head gently and he sat up. He started to wash his chest fur as she spoke.

"My name is Flashslip now." She once again felt familiar pride in her chest at her new name. She always felt momentarily guilty at being so proud of herself, but she had made a quick habit to squash that. _There's no reason to be guilty. I earned that name, and I earned the right to feel proud of it._

"I remember you from the last Gathering." Birdseed shifted. "It kinda sucks that I haven't seen you at any Gatherings since then. I'm glad you got your name."

"Yeah... a lot has happened between now and then..." Flashslip murmured to him as she thought of Cloudstorm and Mallowpaw. 

Birdseed went to reply to her, but a yowl interrupted him. "Let the Gathering begin!"

Flashslip turned her head to the great rock to see that the one who had called the summonings had been Velvetstar of SkyClan. Behind her stood Stonestar, Honeystar, Marshstar and, of course, Duststar. As the cats in the clearing fell silent, Velvetstar began to speak.

"Welcome, everyone. Today, ThunderClan brings sad news to all the Clans." She glanced at Duststar. "Would you like to start us off?"

"Yes, thank you." Duststar dipped his head and stepped forward, replacing Velvetstar's spot. "It is a sad moon for ThunderClan. We have lost two cats, one of which was our esteemed leader, Jaggedstar." Duststar paused. His gaze clouded with pain as the Clans below murmured their condolences. Flashslip shifted on her paws, sympathy running through her. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to lose Stonestar - the leader had been a crucial part of her Clan for as long as she had been alive. 

"Jaggedstar was killed by rogues near one of our borders." Duststar continued as the murmurs died down. "I tried to protect him, but I failed." He lowered his head. For a second, guilt seemed to flash over him, but then it was gone. "It was his final life. In honor of him, I have risen to become ThunderClan's next leader, and have been gifted the name Duststar by StarClan."

Cheers came from the crowd as they called out, "Duststar! Duststar!" The ThunderClan leader seemed to brighten at the welcome, gaze warm as he looked down at them. Flashslip didn't call out, but did notice that ThunderClan seemed to have the loudest voice. Duststar is popular.

As the cheers died down, Duststar continued his speech. "The second cat we lost this moon was my mate, Frostfern. I'm sure many of you know her." 

Murmurs of surprise came from the crowd, and Flashslip flicked her ear as Birdseed gasped. "I met her at a Gathering once," he hissed. "She was young, and had pretty eyes. Did she...?" 

Duststar confirmed Birdseed's fear with his next sentence. "Frostfern went missing during the night. When we followed her scent trail, it led outside of the border, and was eventually covered up with scents of rogues and blood. We followed the rogue-scent to what we assume was their hideout, but it seemed at the time that they had already moved on - that is, until they killed Jaggedstar." He paused, letting the information sink in. "With the amount of blood we found, we can only assume that Frostfern was murdered."

Yowls of rage came from the cats below, and Duststar bowed his head. Eventually Velvetstar shushed the crowd, lashing her tail. "Duststar, are these rogues a threat to all of the Clans? They seem to be causing you a lot of trouble - killing first your deputy, then your mate, then your leader."

"I fought these rogues myself when Jaggedstar was murdered. Despite being too late to save our noble leader from his wounds, I managed to drive the rogues out. They should not return, and should not bother any of our Clans again." Duststar reported.

A sigh of relief drifted around the clearing, and Flashslip felt herself relax unbidden. The thought of blood-thirsty cats roaming the forest had made her tense. _Thank StarClan Duststar managed to drive them out!_

"Other than those proceedings, ThunderClan has been doing well. We're focusing on training our apprentices, and our warriors have been looking over our borders very closely." Duststar took a meaningful pause, and Flashslip shivered. _If anyone makes a move on his Clan, he'll be ready to show that they're still strong, even without Jaggedstar._

Duststar stepped away, dipping his head to Velvetstar as she took his place again. "Thank you, Duststar. I'm sure I speak for all the Clans when I say I wish ThunderClan well."

The rest of the Gathering went on normally. Velvetstar told the Clans that Twolegs had been gathering on the outskirts of their territory, but that they currently weren't causing much of an issue. WindClan reported that they had good hunting and Marshstar of ShadowClan reported that they had had a battle with some Carrionplace rats that had quickly been won by their warriors.

Stonestar was the last to speak. He stepped up to the edge of the highrock and looked down on the Clans with his usual hard-to-read expression. "RiverClan has a new warrior to welcome this moon."

The Clans murmured excitedly to one another as Flashslip realised that Stonestar was talking about her. 

"We have brought her with us today. Flashslip has made our Clan very proud." Stonestar dipped his head and stepped back. Flashslip felt her fur heat up as greeting yowls came from the other Clans.

"Flashslip! Flashslip!"

"Flashslip!" Birdseed yowled beside her and knocked his shoulder into hers, making her stumble slightly. She _mrrow_ ed out loud and purred, raising her tail. 

"The Gathering is over!" Stonestar called and then jumped off the great rock. The Clans began to break up, murmuring goodbyes to one another. The air was light and happy as Flashslip turned her gaze to look at the cat who had pushed her.

"You loser," she purred, "you could have hurt me!"

"Nonsense." Birdseed huffed and sniffed at her fur, checking for wounds. "You're too pretty to hurt."

"Beauty has nothing to do with injuries, silly." She teased, feeling her fur heat up all the same.

"RiverClan, to me!" Stonestar yowled at the edge of the clearing. 

Flashslip looked bashfully at Birdseed and then touched her nose to his. "I have to go. I'll see you next Gathering."

She turned to leave, but was abruptly stopped by Birdseed, who quickly moved his entire body in front of her and took several steps forward, forcing her back. "Wait, Flashslip, don't go yet."

Flashslip paused. For a second she was uneasy - what could cause such an abrupt stop? "What is it, Birdseed? I really need to get going, my Clan-"

"This will only take a moment, I promise." Birdseed shuffled his paws, looking strangely shy for a moment. "Flashslip, I..."

"Flashslip, let's go!" Came Mallowpaw's yowl from across the clearing. Flashslip tried to weave her way past Birdseed but he quickly stopped her.

"I have to-" Flashslip hissed, but was cut off.

"Meet me at fourtrees at moonhigh two nights from now." Birdseed murmured. She stared at him as he slowly backed away. They locked eyes, blue and yellow, and then he disappeared into the crowd.

"Flashslip!" Her sister's voice rang out again and Flashslip jolted into action, quickly bounding towards her. When she skidded to a halt in front of Mallowpaw, she felt her sister's curious gaze burning into her pelt. Flashslip didn't meet her eyes.

The two sisters headed up the slope together and Flashslip glanced over her shoulder, trying to find Birdseed in the crowd. Mallowpaw still seemed to be watching her, and eventually voiced her concern. "What in StarClan's name is up with you, Flashslip? I don't think I've seen you this jumpy since..." Mallowpaw lowered her voice. "Since Cloudstorm."

Flashslip's fur bristled. "Trust me, I would rather die than deal with a Cloudstorm situation again. No, this is... a good jumpy, I think. I'm just a little flustered."

"Oh?" Flashslip saw a twinkle of amusement in Mallowpaw's eyes as her sister glanced her way. "It wouldn't have something to do with that ShadowClan tom you were talking to, would it? I know you had a soft spot for Birdpaw last time you saw him, Flashslip; you don't have to hide it."

Flashslip felt embarassment heat up her pelt as she continued to walk behind the RiverClan patrol, heading towards home. She hadn't had time to process everything so completely, but she did know that Birdseed was one cat she had had an admiration for ever since meeting him. Whether or not it was right to meet him... she wasn't sure. He was ShadowClan, after all. _But surely a few meetings can't possibly hurt our Clans, right?_

"Come on, tell me what happened!" Mallowpaw purred, nudging her. Flashslip's whiskers twitched and she dipped her head as she submitted to Mallowpaw's request, soon beginning to speak. 

"Well... he told me his name was Birdseed." Flashslip began, but stopped when Mallowpaw began to laugh. "What? What is it?"

"Birdseed? What kind of leader names their warrior Birdseed?" Mallowpaw stumbled as she laughed and Flashslip stared at her for a moment before joining her, laughing hard. Some warriors at the end of the group turned their heads back to look at them curiously, and they quickly quieted down, exchanging amused purrs instead.

"I told him it was an awful name. He seems to hate it too." Flashslip purred happily. Her embarassment had melted, and she felt comfortable talking about him. "It was kinda cute just how frustrated he seemed to be with it. He acted like he wanted to yell at Marshstar."

"I'd yell at Stonestar if he named me Birdseed." Mallowpaw pointed out, and Flashslip's whiskers twitched.

"Fair point." Flashslip slowed as they neared the camp. "He also invited me to meet with him at fourtrees two nights from now."

"He what?" Mallowpaw stopped completely in her tracks, giving Flashpaw a shocked look. "Is he crazy? That's stupid, not to mention completely against the warrior code - if I were you I'd report him, I can't believe he-"

"I'm thinking about meeting him." Flashslip broke in. Mallowpaw fell silent and stared at her for a long moment. Flashslip felt her embarrassment returning. "I know it's stupid, Mallowpaw, but I really like him and he's super sweet to me and-"

"Flashslip, you'll be breaking the warrior code. What if you meet one another in battle? What if he has to fight you?" Mallowpaw looked at her seriously. "And what if you get pregnant? Half-Clan kits are rarely welcomed by the Clans, Flashslip. You have to be careful." 

Flashslip felt her fur prick at the mention of kits, discomfort settling in her chest. "I never even want to have kits, Mallowpaw. I was never planning on having them. I... I don't even know if we'll be mates or not, or if I even want to be mates yet."

"Then the fighting point. What do you say about that? What if ShadowClan invades?"

"What if they don't? For all I know, this could be a one-time thing." Flashslip frowned and looked away. "Mallowpaw, I understand why you don't approve, but please..." 

"Flashslip, I just," Mallowpaw's eyes glistened with emotion for a moment. She reached out to touch her nose to Flashslip's forehead. "I care so much about you. So, so much. And Cloudstorm, he... he hurt you really bad. I don't want you rushing into another situation where you get hurt again, where you get stuck and you hide things from me and..."

"I won't get hurt." Flashslip promised in a quiet voice. Their Clan had officially moved into camp, and they were completely alone outside the thick walls. "I can hold my own now. I know what signs to look for, I can be careful. Plus... I have you now, to look after me, and to support me and advise me when things are going wrong."

Mallowpaw moved to press against her sister. "Of course I'd support you, Flashslip." She whispered. "I want you to be happy."

"So you'll give him a chance?" Flashslip's voice was light with hope. More than anything she wanted her sister's approval. She felt as though, with time, Mallowpaw and Birdseed could get along - if only they tried first.

"As long as it doesn't end up like last time," Mallowpaw warned, "then yes, I will give Birdseed a chance."

Flashslip purred loudly, rubbing her face against her sister's. Mallowpaw responded, but she seemed a bit more reluctant than Flashslip was - she knew that Mallowpaw wasn't fully for this.

But Flashslip had considered the possibilities, and she had decided that, maybe, the drawbacks weren't so bad. She didn't want to see Birdseed in battle, but if they were in the same fight, couldn't they just... avoid each other? Or playfight, to make it seem more real? Flashslip didn't want to think about it until the time came. Besides, it might not ever come to that - it wasn't like they were mates. They were just friends who were going to visit one another and hang out. No big deal.

She had to admit though, Mallowpaw's insistence that they would be mates startled her. Was she that attached to Birdseed already? That was a little embarrassing, she had only met the tom twice. Or maybe Mallowpaw was just good at picking up on crushes or something.

Sighing softly, Flashslip pulled away from her sister and looked at her with adoration. Still... Mallowpaw was going to be here for her, and she'd help Flashslip if anything worrying happened. And she supported Flashslip. "You're the best sister I could ever ask for, you know that?"

Mallowpaw's gaze lit up with happiness as she purred. "Thank you, Flashslip." Gently, the older cat touched her nose to her sibling's. "I'd be happy to be your sister anytime you needed me to be."

Flashslip rose her gaze to look at the sun where it was spilling over the horizon. The air was cold with the frosts of leaf-bare, and the grass was crisp underpaw. The sun was fully exposed, no longer blocked by the lush leaves of summer from the dense forest guarding RiverClan's home. The light reached through the skeleton branches of the trees beyond the camp boundary and spilled out onto her sister's fur, turning it a pretty golden color. The sky was bathed in hues of pinks and purples and oranges, and somewhere in the distance, Flashslip heard a bird chirping, announcing the movements of waking life.

As morning dawned, Flashslip turned back to her sibling, whose eyes were shadowed with sleepiness. Tiredness tugged at Flashslip's paws from their long trip home from the Gathering. With a flick of her tail, Flashslip said, "Let's go home," and together the two sisters disappeared into the RiverClan camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are at the end !!! i hope u guys enjoyed this novella !!!  
>   
> im planning on making a few other one-shots for this though i cant guarantee i'll write them!!! i CAN guarentee that a new novella will be coming out shortly. im planning on six in total, with this one being the first :)  
>   
> [by the way, here's the official allegiances for this story](https://sta.sh/010tqcgo7ejv). feel free to check it out!

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so excited to finally be able to post this !! i'm not sure if this will result in a long series of novellas or if this will be my only one, but for now i'm so happy to finally be able to release flashslip's story. her journey is a personal one that I've suffered through myself, and i'm happy to be able to put that down on paper.  
>   
> find me (hawk) || @ hawksbluevibes (tumblr, twitter, toyhouse), gay-fighter-cats (warrior cats tumblr), [more warriors ocs](https://toyhou.se/hawksbluevibes/characters/tags:1/folder:all/tagged:warrior%20cats/extagged:au)  
>   
> find my editor (steph) || @ Shatterd_Psyche (twitter)  
> 


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